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Band 4

Some people argue that if children behave badly their parent should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #children #parent #responsibility #behavior
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It has been argued by
certain conservatist
Suggestion
a certain conservatism
certain conservatism
 that for the mischief in the adolescence period,
parent
Suggestion
parents
a parent
the parent
 should be held responsible and penalize for
this
.
This
 essay completely disagrees with
this
,
firstly
, children learns many stuffs from
outside world
Suggestion
the outside world
 which
is in beyond the
Suggestion
is beyond the
 control of parent’s,
secondly
 children are very innocent and fragile.
Study
Suggestion
The study
 shows that children
spends
Suggestion
spend
ample number
Suggestion
an ample number
 of hours in schools, park where they interact with other offspring of their age and learn about their habits. They find it quite interesting what other children of their age do and try to replicate the same. Father and mother cannot be punished for the
trouble performed
Accept comma addition
trouble, performed
 by them as it is part of their journey to life which
mold
produced by a manufacturing process
made
mould
moved
 them into
better person
Suggestion
a better person
 in future. Juvenile are very tender and innocent; they are unable to identify what is wrong and right. With time
passes
Suggestion
passing
 by and as they are growing, they cannot differentiate themselves what is incorrect and stop doing
mischief
Suggestion
mischievous
 activities. It is the parent’s responsibility to guide them during
this
path but
Accept comma addition
path, but
 punishing parent is totally an act of inhuman as no parent’s want their child to behave differently and be
trouble some
difficult to deal with
troublesome
 to other. With the above points I conclude that parents want their child to learn, grow up as a better human being but in the course of learning if they are performing any mischief parents cannot be punished. Adolescence age is very critical and tender, children themselves acquire behaviours and knowledge and turn into a better individual.
Submitted by Rajan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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