In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is often contended that governments should impose a higher tax on fast
food
as it is Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
a
number of people Change the article
the
are
suffering from health problems. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with Unnecessary verb
apply
this
assertion, and the following examples will be provided to support my point of view.
One of the foremost reasons is that junk Linking Words
food
fosters an abundance of unhealthy nutrition since people in the host country will have a chance to gain exposure to a myriad of toxins in their bodies, which is disadvantageous when they enter into the body. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
according to
the latest study conducted by students from Bangkok University, it revealed that it becomes easier for 70% of office Linking Words
worker
to get fat when they have prior experience interacting with convenience Fix the agreement mistake
workers
food
. Use synonyms
This
demonstrates that fast Linking Words
food
plays a pivotal role in addressing Use synonyms
this
phenomenon, thereby ultimately unbefitting the nation.
Another reason is that the cost of fast Linking Words
food
is really low which brings with them a plethora of profit in financial. Use synonyms
This
is attributed to the indisputable fact that the main ingredients mostly come from sugar and flour. To illustrate Linking Words
this
, in recent news, it has been revealed that all the junk Linking Words
food
companies make a lot of money every year by selling low-cost products. Use synonyms
As a result
, if there are gains in profit, they should pay more taxes which leads to a balancing of the economy.
In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true to say that an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems Linking Words
as a result
of eating too much fast Linking Words
food
. It is necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on Use synonyms
this
kind of Linking Words
food
because junk Use synonyms
food
fosters an abundance of unhealthy nutrition and the cost of fast Use synonyms
food
is really low which brings with them a plethora of profit in financial.Use synonyms
Submitted by chuangyaem on
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task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your points. The current examples are slightly generalized and could benefit from more detailed information.
coherence cohesion
Ensure varied sentence structures to maintain reader interest and demonstrate language proficiency. Some ideas could be expressed more succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You present clear and comprehensive ideas addressing the prompt. Your argument is well-structured and follows a logical flow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite