Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

It is often thought by some people that
wealth
and material belongings are the measurement criteria of
success
. In my opinion,
wealth
is not the effective way to measure
success
as there are many other factors like good family relationship, health and dream
career
that make a
person
successful. It is undeniable that everyone in the world strives for happiness and
hence
, it should be the best way to measure
success
.
Although
some people have
wealth
which is enough to buy all material belongings they want they attempt self-murder.
For instance
,
life
is quite stressful in some developed countries compared to developing or even underdeveloped countries.
Therefore
,
wealth
cannot be regarded as the criteria of measuring
success
. There are several factors that contribute to making a
person
successful.
Firstly
, it is irrefutable that family support is of paramount importance throughout the journey of
life
. Good family not only brings happiness to our
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
also
helps us to share worries and thereby reduces stress.
Secondly
, getting a suitable
career
that matches a
person
’s area of interest is inevitable for leading a happy and
consequently
, a successful
life
.
Career
brightens a
person
’s self-esteem. If a
person
gets a dream job, it helps their
career
progression as well as job prospects.
Finally
, health is another obvious factor
that is
unavoidable for a successful
life
. Only if a
person
is healthy, he can work hard to gain
success
. To conclude, money is not the
basics
a relation that provides the foundation for something
basis
of
success
because a
person
is successful only if he leads a happy and contended
life
. For
this
, he should have a good family, health and a satisfying
career
. Do you have an essay on
this
topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
Submitted by Amjad Khan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your writing score in 2 weeks
Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Checks your essay in seconds
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.