Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

It is often thought by some people that

wealth

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and material belongings are the measurement criteria of

success

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. In my opinion,

wealth

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is not the effective way to measure

success

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as there are many other factors like good family relationship, health and dream

career

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that make a

person

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successful. It is undeniable that everyone in the world strives for happiness and

hence

Linking Words

, it should be the best way to measure

success

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Although

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some people have

wealth

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which is enough to buy all material belongings they want they attempt self-murder.

For instance

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life

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is quite stressful in some developed countries compared to developing or even underdeveloped countries.

Therefore

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wealth

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cannot be regarded as the criteria of measuring

success

Use synonyms

. There are several factors that contribute to making a

person

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successful.

Firstly

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, it is irrefutable that family support is of paramount importance throughout the journey of

life

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. Good family not only brings happiness to our

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life but

Accept comma addition

life, but

also

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helps us to share worries and thereby reduces stress.

Secondly

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, getting a suitable

career

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that matches a

person

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’s area of interest is inevitable for leading a happy and

consequently

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, a successful

life

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Career

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brightens a

person

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’s self-esteem. If a

person

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gets a dream job, it helps their

career

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progression as well as job prospects.

Finally

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, health is another obvious factor

that is

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unavoidable for a successful

life

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. Only if a

person

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is healthy, he can work hard to gain

success

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. To conclude, money is not the

basics

a relation that provides the foundation for something

basis

success

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because a

person

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is successful only if he leads a happy and contended

life

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. For

this

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, he should have a good family, health and a satisfying

career

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. Do you have an essay on

this

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topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.

Amjad KhanSun May 31 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

291 words

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Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think that this is a positive or a negative development?

it is important to give children the opportunity to make decisions from an early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on T.V and reading them on newspaper. What is the reason? Is it a good or bad idea.

Do you feel it is better for young people leaving school to study further at University or go straight into the workplace? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples for your knowledge and experience.

Your mentor recommended you to learn a new language and gave you contact details of a teacher. Following his advice, you need to write a letter to the teacher and say: •What is your motivation to learn a new language •How can the teacher help you •When you will be ready to start