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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people’s #health #future
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It is argued that public
health
Use synonyms
 is
likely
Suggestion
more likely
 to get worse than it is today in the coming years. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is true because there are many unhealthy habits in the modern society that may contribute to poor
health
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 among people. One of the reasons that may decrease the
health
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 standards are the unhealthy dietary patterns.
In other words
Linking Words
, people, nowadays, consume more and more junk
food
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 that
contain
Suggestion
contains
 higher amounts of lipids and sugar.
As a result
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 of
this
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, more people will suffer from severe
health
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 issues
such
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 as heart problems and diabetes. As people are unaware of these
health
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 hazards, they tend to consume those in higher amounts.
Moreover
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,
authorities
Suggestion
the authorities
 have not taken enough
actions
Suggestion
action
 to limit the use of unhealthy
food
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 items. As those
food
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 items constantly appear on television advertisements, people cannot resist the temptation to buy more and more of these.
For instance
Linking Words
,
food
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 chains
such
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 as KFC and McDonalds have
huge influence
Suggestion
a huge influence
 on people, especially, young children who consume these foods regularly. Eventually,
this
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 will lead to obesity in
people which
Accept comma addition
people, which
 cause low life expectance. Another reason that will decrease the standards of people’s
health
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 is the lack of physical
activity
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. As exercise helps us to burn excess calories, it is essential to have a physically active life. It can be seen that people living in the modern society show lack of concern for physical
activity
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. Even though some people pursue exercise, there are a majority of people who do not do any kind of physical sport or
activity
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the new technological advancements have led people to lead a sedentary life. People spend long hours on their smart phones without engaging in any physical
activity
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. In conclusion, it is true that there is a high probability of
health
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 standards declining in future owing to the faulty lifestyle and
food
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 habits. It is time people woke up to the danger and took corrective measures.
Submitted by Leslie Cortez on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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