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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What is the cause of this? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand?

#demand #food #measures #community
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Nowadays, in
the
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apply
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modern
life
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life,
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 the
food
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demand
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 is increasing and
this
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 is considered
as
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apply
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an important problem for the whole globe. There are several factors which could cause
this
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 issue, and the international community should take some
measures
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 to
increase
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 the supply for
this
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demand
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the possible causes of
this
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 trend followed by some
measures
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 to be taken to meet
this
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demand
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. To start with, there are several factors
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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 lead to
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increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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the
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in the
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demand
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 for
food
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.
Firstly
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, the
increase
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of
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in
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 the
population
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rate
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 between the
countries
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play
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plays
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 an important role in
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increase
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increasing
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 the
demand
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of
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for
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food
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.
For example
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, many
countries
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 with high
population
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rate
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rates
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 are facing a high level of
food
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demand
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.
Secondly
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, the decrease
of
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in
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the
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apply
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agricultural production in
the
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apply
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rural areas
have
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has
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 some effects on
this
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 issue. Because with the decrease
of
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in
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 the
food
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 supply
people
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 will face
shortage
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a shortage
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with
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of
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the
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apply
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food
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 products.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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, the international community should take some
measures
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 to meet
this
Linking Words
demand
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.
To begin
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 with, the governments should set
some
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up some
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 awareness campaigns to educate
people
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 about the importance of controlling the number of children.
As a result
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,
people
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 will
adapt
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adopt
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 the idea of
the
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apply
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smaller family members to reduce the
demand
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 for
food
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.
Moreover
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, the governments should support the agricultural sectors, among the
countries
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 to
increase
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 the
food
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 supply to handle
this
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demand
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.
For instance
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, some
countries
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 nowadays are aware of the importance of the agriculture industry and they are giving it
the
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apply
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support to enhance. In conclusion, there are some factors that are contributing
in
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to
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 increasing the
demand
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of
Change preposition
for
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food
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,
such
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 as the
increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the
population
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rate
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 and the decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agricultural production.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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, the international community should take some
measures
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 to meet
this
Linking Words
demand
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 by setting awareness campaigns to educate
people
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 about reducing the
population
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rate
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and support the agriculture industry to
increase
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the
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apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 production.
Submitted by q on

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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents clear ideas. However, it could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the causes of increasing food demand and a more cohesive structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed and the essay could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas.
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