Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development?

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In
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun society in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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modern society,
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun plenty in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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plenty of couples have been married and waiting until their thirties to have a
baby
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and sometimes they do not have a child. I strongly support
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

idea and I believe
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a positive way to live.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

However
Add a comma
However,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

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some people can be pretty happy having a kid early.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, When a couple wait to have a
baby
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after their thirties in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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most of the stories,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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may be successful as
bought
Wrong verb form
they buy

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb bought. Consider changing it.

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a house,
a
Correct word choice
or a

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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car and
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes

It appears that sometime is used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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achieve financial independence.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some people think that money is not important to have a
baby
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, I believe that without money and a good infrastructure is very difficult to maintain a
baby
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is possible
having
Wrong verb form
to have

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb having. Consider changing it.

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a
baby
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

early and provide a good life for the child, but
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is not easy.
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

As well as
Rephrase
Also

There may be an adverb issue here.

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I became a father pretty early,
I
Correct word choice
and I

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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could not give
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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my child the life that I always
have been dreaming
Wrong verb form
dreamed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb have been dreaming. Consider changing it.

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of him,
and
Change preposition
At and

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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same
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time

It seems that times may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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I
regret to be
Wrong verb form
regretted being

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb regret to be. Consider changing it.

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a father early because I could work more and now he was having
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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better growth.
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Moreover. Consider adding a comma.

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If I was young I never
had
Wrong verb form
have

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb had. Consider changing it.

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taken
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

decision. I am not saying
to
Change preposition
that

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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everybody hasn't had a
baby
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

before their thirties, but considering what I said. In conclusion, If a person what to be
father
Correct article usage
a father

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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early go ahead, but I do not advise
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I ask
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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that person
think
Fix the infinitive
to think

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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more about
because
Correct pronoun usage
it because

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a huge decision that will change all
life
Change preposition
of life

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
.

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task response
The essay addresses the topic but lacks clarity and structure. The introduction and conclusion need improvement. Try to organize the ideas more coherently and use more relevant examples to support the arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the introduction and conclusion need more development. Work on creating a clearer flow of ideas and consider using signposting words to improve coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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