Some people hold that children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #children #attention #parents

Currently, an increasing number of people are concerned about

children

Suggestion

child

care

, some people argue that parents pay less attention to their kids than

Suggestion

the previous time

previous times

time

, I

am agree

Suggestion

agree

with

this

opinion, there are few reasons how does it caused.

First

of all

Accept space

the cost of living is likely to be much higher. Parents should pay

more higher price

Suggestion

a higher price

higher price

higher prices

highest price

of clothing, food

Accept space

housing and school education, it makes them work

more harder

Suggestion

harder

more hard

However

, the social competition is

intensely

Suggestion

intensifying

intense

intensified

intensive

For instance

, there are a large number of candidates to apply for one position, people are under great pressure, they have to

spent

Suggestion

spend

substantial energy into job skills which

cause

look over, usually with the intention to rob

case

them

people in general

they

may not have more power to take

care

of kids, give

advise

a proposal for an appropriate course of action

advice

kids

Suggestion

kids'

homework.

Secondly

, another reason is that overuse of

internet

Suggestion

the internet

. When parents have

free

Suggestion

more free

time

, they always spent it on social networking sites,

such

as Facebook

Accept space

Twitter, Instagram, or watch some videos from TikTok, YouTube. While the parents spent leisure

time

on the internet

Accept space

it means they have

lack

Suggestion

a lack

time

to spend with

kids

Suggestion

the kids

Furthermore

, In the past,

instead

of working mothers are

remained

Suggestion

remaining

at home to look after their children and take

care

of domestic work, nowadays women

also

have equal access to enter the workforce, on the one hand

Accept space

encourage

Suggestion

encourages

mothers to find employment, but

on the other hand

, it makes children with less

care

. In conclusion, from my perspective today children did not get enough attention from their parents, to consider about children’s development, parents should spend more

time

with their kids.

Submitted by Sssue on Mon Jun 01 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

261 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people hold that children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.