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Writing Samples
Band 6

For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #teachers #influence #intelligence #development #parents
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In early life, people have nothing in their mind and all the things they do are just learning.
This
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 is especially true for
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schoolchildren
Suggestion
school children
 who spend almost
time
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 per day learning things. The
impact
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 of adults is significant for their intelligence and
also
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 their social skills. Two main sources of
this
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impact
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 are the kids' teachers and parents, and in my opinion, teachers have more influence on
schoolchildren
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 than their parents do. In class, children are influenced by many other people.
This
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 is one of the most important impacts on their cognitive development. And teachers
also
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 play a very important role in orientating
such
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 development. Because they can directly influence the kids, interact with them the whole day and tell them how to think and what to do.. An immature mind of a child is so easy to be affected by the surrounding environment. It is just like a white paper being painted
by
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with
in
 colours, some just hear and follow all the things their teachers said. About parents, even though they are the most important pieces of a child's life, but their
impact
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 on them would not be as big as a teacher.
Firstly
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, for
schoolchildren
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, the amount of
time
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 they spend with their parents is a bit limited since they have to go to school and stay there the whole day from the early morning to the late night. Their remaining
time
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 at home, which is already constrained, is
then
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 used for many things from personal hygiene, homework, for entertaining.
Hence
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, there is not much
time
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 left to talk to their parents
Moreover
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, parental intervention is not always helpful. The fact that two people regularly and sometimes, simultaneously tell them how to live would make them feel boring. Because of that, many children have a tendency not to listen to their parents but rather strangers. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
 even though parents have a big
impact
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 on
schoolchildren
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's intelligence and their social development, the role of teachers in
this
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 case is more significant.
Submitted by Thuong Tran on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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