In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is worsening. What possibly can cause this problem? What measures can be taken to resolve it?
Most of the countries in recent times have observed that the quality of life of
people
living in huge cities
is worsening day by day. Following
this
are some of the actions that can be taken to solve this
issue.
To begin
with, several decades back many people
from small villages and towns started marching towards cities
for better earning and living standards. The main idea of them was to make good money , have a good quality of life and provide a good education for their children. I still remember my uncle with his family moved to a city from our village and now they are in a better state in their lives.
On the other hand
, as more and more people
moved to cities
it resulted in overpopulation. The cost of owning or renting a house has increased dramatically in recent years due to
high demand. Eating out in restaurants has become much costlier than it used to be back in ten years. Taxpayers in cities
have to pay additional taxes to the government on top of what they are earning in cities
. These problems deteriorated the standard of living in recent times. Possible solutions to these are to develop the tier 2 cities
bring in a lot of companies and create jobs so that the population can be evenly distributed in each state. Then
jobs that don't require physical presence like software engineering can be allowed to work permanently from home which
Correct word choice
and
people
don't even have to move to cities
anymore and can live and earn happily with their families in small towns. The Government needs to focus on reducing taxes for people
living in cities
and charge corporate companies to bear a part of their employee's taxes.
In conclusion , these are some of the ways in which we can improve the quality of life of people
living in large cities
and bring them back to normal.Submitted by karthikmailbox4321 on
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task achievement
You've covered the main points regarding the causes and solutions for the declining quality of life in large cities. However, try to provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more elaborate introduction and conclusion. An impactful introduction sets the stage for your arguments, while a strong conclusion leaves a lasting impression. Your current conclusion is brief; consider summarizing the main points for better emphasis.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical flow between paragraphs. While the essay is organized, the transition between causes and solutions could be smoother. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader more effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task with an understanding of the main issues leading to a decline in the quality of life in large cities and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is sound, making it easy to follow the progression of ideas from introduction, through the body, to the conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.