the chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. write a report.

the chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. write a report.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. write a report.
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The given bar chart illustrates the weekly entertainment period (in hours)
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

enjoyed by five different working groups based on their sex, during 1998-99.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the jobless and the
post retirement
Add a hyphen
post-retirement

It seems that post retirement is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
categories of people showed a maximum number of enjoyable hours. The men are ahead of women in all the groups except the housewives and
part
Add a hyphen
part-time

It seems that part time is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

workers that
does
Change the verb form
do

The singular verb does does not appear to agree with the plural subject the housewives and part time workers. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
not have any male representation.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with the unemployed and retired people made the best use of their leisure
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in terms of joy. These figures were 80
hrs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

/
week
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for males and 78
hrs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

/
week
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for females in both
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
categories. It was followed by the housewives who could manage to enjoy 50
hrs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in every
week
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

group was obviously reserved for
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
females only. Amongst the rest of the two groups I.e. those working
full
Add a hyphen
full-time

It seems that full time is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or part-
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, the number of enjoyment hours for females remained almost closer to 40hrs/
week
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in
Correct article usage
the full

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time

It appears that full time is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

job category,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

figure was 45hrs/
week
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for men. But surprisingly enough, the men did not have any representation amongst the
part
Add a hyphen
part-time

It seems that part time is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

jobbers.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, hrs, week with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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