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Band 4

Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollution and housing problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements?

#people #illness #disease #governments #efforts #pollution #statements
In order to prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
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illness and disease, it's necessary to introduce rules and policies to prevent
such
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
pollution
 and housing
problems
. I strongly agree with
this
 statement and
following
this
 essay will explain my viewpoints in detail and reach
to
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apply
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a conclusion. These days, there
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 an increased problem
about
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of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
pollution
 in
this
 world.
Due to
 the technological advancements in today's world, many people would love to use the latest products and services.
Such
 of situation, many people are now purchasing many vehicles and there is
a
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apply
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heavy traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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 can be identified.
Similarly
, there is
also
 a huge environmental
pollution
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be figured out.
In addition
 to
this
, several
problems
such
 as Air
Pollution
, Hearing
Problems
, Anxiety, Asthma and
Much More
Correct your spelling
many more
show examples
problems
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been occurring.
Therefore
,
such
of
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apply
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pollution
 can be threatening to
the
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apply
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human
being
Replace the word
beings
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while
 negative influence on the environment
as well
as
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apply
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.
Moreover
, there are many Housing
problems
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be identified
in
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apply
show examples
these days.
Due to
 the rapid growth of the population and the destroying forests
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
show examples
 can be seen today.
This
 will have a negative impact on the nature.
Also
, people are trying to destroy the natural attractive places and trying to use
in
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apply
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those areas for
the
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apply
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industrial
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.
Finally
, it can be concluded that
,
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apply
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 the government should introduce new tax rules and regulations to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
pollution
 and
the
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apply
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housing
problems
. If
this
 could be done properly,
then
 it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be helpful to prevent
such
 illnesses and diseases.
Submitted by navodi on

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task response
Ensure that you address all aspects of the prompt and develop your ideas fully. Consider the impact of environmental pollution and housing problems on illness and disease in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to provide a well-structured response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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