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Writing Samples
Band 4

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#demand #gas #oil #sources #areas #necessity #outweigh
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World
Suggestion
The world
 is growing and so the need for energy. The main source of energy in today's
time
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 is from non-renewable sources as gas,
oil
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 and coal. The known deposits of
oil
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 and gas are depleting rapidly with their over-exploitation. The
world
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 is continuously trying to find new reserves to meet the demand. So, it is a topic of debate
this
Linking Words
time
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 that whether developing new sources
at
Suggestion
in
 remote areas are advantageous or not.
This
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 essay will underline some important factors which will
disfavor
the state of being out of favor
disfavour
 the disadvantages than advantages. The over-
expoitation
the act of making some area of land or water more profitable or productive or useful
exploitation
 and over-dependence of
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world
Suggestion
the world
 on non-renewable has raised the problem of pollution in the
world
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. The
world
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 is fighting with the consequences of
pollution
Accept comma addition
pollution, such
such
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 as global warming, climate change and many more. The consequence of these are at
such
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 alarming rate that it is being seen that it will be difficult to
live
go away from a place
leave
. The researchers all around the
world
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 are trying to find alternate to
oil
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, which are cheaper and environment-friendly too. Renewable sources like wind, water and
specially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 solar have great potential and it is need of
time
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 to develop cheaper to harness from these energy sources. Non-renewable is a sinking ship and
therefore
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it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 not a
benefitial
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
 to invest in remote areas for finding new sources of
oil
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 and gas. It is evident from the fact that the price of crude
oil
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 has plummeted by 50% in
last
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 one decade and
oil
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 dependent economy are
also
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 sinking. The
insvestment
the act of investing; laying out money or capital in an enterprise with the expectation of profit
investment
require
Suggestion
requires
 to develop remote areas for extraction is in billions of dollars. The petroleum companies generally
perfer
like better; value more highly
prefer
 the
oil
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 sources in open sea as it is easy to transport crude
oil
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 from open sea to
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world market
Suggestion
the world market
world markets
a world market
. The transportation of crude
oil
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 from land sources is
didfficult
not easy; requiring great physical or mental effort to accomplish or comprehend or endure
difficult
 and mounts to
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 of money spend on transportation cost. So, if a company wants to utilize a source of
oil
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 and gas in
reomte area than, they
Suggestion
a remote area, then they
reomte area then, they
a remote area then, they
a remote area than, they
remote area than, they
remote areas than, they
 have to develop the infrastructure and connectivity of that area. The development takes lots of
time
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 and money and is not beneficial in present scenario. In the end, I can reckon that the development of remote and untouched areas solely for the exploitation of non-
renewables
Suggestion
 is not advantageous in today's and in the future
also
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.
Submitted by Mandeep Singh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • fostering innovations
  • renewable energy sources
  • energy security
  • geopolitical tensions
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental risks
  • habitat destruction
  • irreversible damage
  • perpetuates dependence
  • transitioning
  • indigenous and local communities
  • ethical and social challenges
What to do next:
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