Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news event. Do you think the advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages

A certain number of
people
use
social
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
to stay connected to
individuals
, reports and events. I believe that the benefit of social networking outweighs the
risk
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risks
show examples
because it provides easy access to extensive information.
However
, it could
also
make
individuals
in the community less social.
Firstly
, one major demerit of social media could be less socialization
amongst
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among
show examples
individuals
in a society.
People
spend more time on their mobile devices, chatting with virtual friends and keeping tabs on their favourite celebrities.
For example
, my best friend who is a socialite attended a party in her neighbourhood. She noticed that
people
at the gathering, barely interacted with her or anyone else because they were so engrossed with their mobile phones. The party was so boring she had to leave after a few minutes.
Consequently
, the
use
of internet platforms has made socializing in the community almost non-existent.
Secondly
, I opine that the merit of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
platform could be providing easy access to information and instant connectivity to
populace
Correct article usage
the populace
show examples
around the globe. A variety of social media applications
such
as Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp are being used by
individuals
daily.
Moreover
, they
use
these social media platforms to relate to
people
,
get
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and get
show examples
updates
of
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on
show examples
news reports and activities that occur worldwide.
This
has more benefits than drawbacks.
For instance
, when I
use
my Instagram account I can keep tabs on news,
various
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and various
show examples
popular occasions and
also
interact with my family living abroad.
Thus
,
this
has made global interaction and obtaining vast information effortless. In conclusion, I believe that the
advantage
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advantages
show examples
of
this
technology by far outweigh the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
show examples
because social networking makes it easy to stay connected to
people
as well as
keeping
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keep
show examples
up to date with reports and events worldwide.
Submitted by EJEME EIGBE on

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task response
Well done on addressing the task prompt and providing a clear position on whether the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages. Your essay effectively discusses both the advantages and disadvantages, supporting your opinion with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion overall. The logical structure is clear, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. However, there are some areas where the connection between ideas could be strengthened for smoother transitions.
task response
Clear position on the topic and effective use of examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • real-time updates
  • global connectivity
  • professional networking
  • fake news
  • misinformation
  • social media addiction
  • mental health issues
  • privacy concerns
  • personal information
  • viral content
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