Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news event. Do you think the advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages

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A certain number of

people

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use

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social

platform

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platforms

show examples

to stay connected to

individuals

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, reports and events. I believe that the benefit of social networking outweighs the

risk

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risks

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because it provides easy access to extensive information.

However

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, it could

also

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make

individuals

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in the community less social.

Firstly

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, one major demerit of social media could be less socialization

amongst

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among

show examples

individuals

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in a society.

People

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spend more time on their mobile devices, chatting with virtual friends and keeping tabs on their favourite celebrities.

For example

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, my best friend who is a socialite attended a party in her neighbourhood. She noticed that

people

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at the gathering, barely interacted with her or anyone else because they were so engrossed with their mobile phones. The party was so boring she had to leave after a few minutes.

Consequently

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, the

use

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of internet platforms has made socializing in the community almost non-existent.

Secondly

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, I opine that the merit of

internet

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the internet

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platform could be providing easy access to information and instant connectivity to

populace

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the populace

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around the globe. A variety of social media applications

such

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as Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp are being used by

individuals

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daily.

Moreover

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, they

use

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these social media platforms to relate to

people

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get

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and get

show examples

updates

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show examples

news reports and activities that occur worldwide.

This

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has more benefits than drawbacks.

For instance

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, when I

use

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my Instagram account I can keep tabs on news,

various

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and various

show examples

popular occasions and

also

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interact with my family living abroad.

Thus

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this

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has made global interaction and obtaining vast information effortless. In conclusion, I believe that the

advantage

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advantages

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this

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technology by far outweigh the

disadvantage

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disadvantages

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because social networking makes it easy to stay connected to

people

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as well as

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keeping

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keep

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up to date with reports and events worldwide.

EJEME EIGBETue Jun 02 2020

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task response

Well done on addressing the task prompt and providing a clear position on whether the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages. Your essay effectively discusses both the advantages and disadvantages, supporting your opinion with examples.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion overall. The logical structure is clear, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. However, there are some areas where the connection between ideas could be strengthened for smoother transitions.

task response

Clear position on the topic and effective use of examples to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Well-structured introduction and conclusion.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

real-time updates
global connectivity
professional networking
fake news
misinformation
social media addiction
mental health issues
privacy concerns
personal information
viral content

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