Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, taking care of elderly
parents
has become a major concern.Some
people
believe that they should live in retirement houses,
while
others believe they should stay with their children.
This
essay will argue why seniors should live
along with
their family
relatives
.
People
think that aged
parents
should live in senior residential homes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since they are becoming a financial burden to their
relatives
.Apparently, they have to spend for their living and medical needs.
For example
, most of the older individuals have medical complications which need attention.
In addition
,
people
also
anticipate that veterans will cause mental disturbances in the family. Juniors imagine that the fights at family are happening because of the elders.
For instance
, individuals who are working in offices feel that veterans are the major reason for the family differences which is not true.
However
, some
people
think that
parents
should live with their blood
relatives
instead
of staying alone since they need medical and financial support. Most of the retirement residences only provide food, but they don't take care of other needs. To illustrate, seniors need money for their regular medicines and personal errands.
Moreover
, some elders
also
need physical help for certain tasks. Physically handicapped
parents
need their
juniors
Change noun form
junior's
juniors'
show examples
support for everything. To give a clear example,
people
who cannot walk
due to
the age factor need assistance daily for personal needs.
To conclude
,
this
essay
argued
Wrong verb form
argues
show examples
why seniors should reside with their blood
relatives
rather than staying at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement houses. I completely agree with the above statement.
Submitted by chigurupati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the main points are supported with relevant and specific examples. Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt and provide a clear and comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure to enhance the flow and coherence of the essay. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively present the main ideas and offer a clear overview of the arguments presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: