IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries, celebrities earn higher salaries than senior politicians. What are the reasons? Is it a negative or positive development?

#countries #celebrities #salaries #politicians #development
There are several instances, in some countries, where the earnings of renowned people have exceeded as compared to senior leaders. In my opinion, it is a positive development as with the increase in the fame
of celebrities many
Suggestion
of many celebrities
 are opting for
philanthrophy
voluntary promotion of human welfare
philanthropy
. There are two evident reasons behind the increasing revenue of the celebrities.
First
 and foremost, is the development of
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
 across the globe.
This
 means that the work of a celebrity, in a country, is viewed, admired and followed by thousands of fans across the borders.
Hence
, the multinational association
offer
Suggestion
offers
 a huge price to
such
 renowned artist to endorse their product.
For example
, Ronaldo - a famous football player, who is adulated by people around the world charge more than a million dollars to endorse a product. Another reason is the celebrities investing in a company. To elaborate,
instead
 of receiving money for endorsement some celebrities are demanding the shares in a company, and their revenue increases with
increase
Suggestion
an increase
 in the market value of a company.
On the other hand
, the increase in the earnings of renowned artists and sports person has a positive effect on the society. Many celebrities are largely contributing
in
Suggestion
to
 the social cause as compared to the local government, in some countries. As an illustration, during Covid pandemic, in India, many actors from the
bollywood
the film industry of India
Bollywood
 donated
enormous amount
Suggestion
enormous amounts
an enormous amount
 of money into the PM Healthcare fund scheme;
as a result
, the government was able to construct new hospitals within weeks, which decreased the pressure on the current hospital. In conclusion, some celebrities are worshipped around the world, which increases the brand value of a product they endorse,
hence
 they earn more, and there are many
instance
Suggestion
instances
 where celebrities have contributed for the betterment of society.
Submitted by djrorurjf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: