IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
Many individuals argue about the relevance of applicant's personal
information
 like marital status, likes and dislikes, while some say it is of no use.
This
 essay will discuss both the above statements and reckon that personal data are a useful asset for any organisation. The contemporary organisational structures are more inclined towards the member engagement in the company. For
this
, often the companies collect personal
information
 like whether the person is single or married.
This
 is helpful in framing transfer policies and giving perks in the form of nearby postings with the spouse.
Also
, some companies provide family holiday packages as incentives. It is easy to decide
this
 with a prior personal
information
.
For example
, one of the reported facts by a TCS staff member reveals that he often gets Armani clothing and accessories by the office.
This
 is due to his stated sartorial preferences for brands like Armani and Mark and Spencer in his personal database. Job satisfaction is the other factor in collecting personal material. The organisations tend to provide all recreational facilities in the office campus as per the personal hobbies of employees. With
this
, the
employee
 can relax and work efficiently.
For instance
, Google office in USA has every facility that an
employee
 needs, be it the car, swimming pools, food courts, shopping centres, library, gym, theatre, and many more that may be uncountable. The CEO of Google states that at Google they want the employees to be content and happy and high spirit to work. They believe if an
employee
 is satisfied and happy with the work profile, the chances of losing an
employee
 diminishes. In conclusion, the collection of personal
information
 of employees is a beneficial document for human resource management in any organisation. In fact,
this
 database should be regularly updated to administer the timely needs of employees.
Submitted by Kanika Sharma on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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