IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of the phenomenon?

#people #generations #implications #phenomenon
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Nowadays, the technological advancements in the distinct fields have entirely changed the living standard of the populace,
as a result
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, the average life expectancy has heightened in the
last
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 few decades.
Thus
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, there are numerous reasons
this
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 anticipation and have some adverse effects on the public, as well as, on the overall of various economies. I would explain the causes and related effects in the following paragraphs along with the conclusion in the end.
Firstly
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, the dramatic change in the living standard of the array of masses has given birth to the habit of enjoying a luxurious lifestyle along with different sorts of
health
Use synonyms
 amenities.
For example
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, in the developed countries
such
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 as America, almost every individual puts his best endeavours, in order to win the race for success with an ambition to enjoy the best lifestyle, as well as, keeping himself healthy by taking the advantage of advanced
health
Use synonyms
 facilities.
Therefore
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, these days most of the rich people are able to obtain very expensive
health
Use synonyms
 treatments
such
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 as skin surgery and organ implantations, which are beyond the reach of middle-class families.
Consequently
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, the enhanced lifestyle and
health
Use synonyms
 amenities has provoked the
population
Use synonyms
 to think to live longer, as compared to their forefathers.
Secondly
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, there is a saying that a coin has two sides,
therefore
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, the boost in the enhanced standard of living caused a sudden growth in the
population
Use synonyms
 of various nations, as well as
this
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 practice has become the reason of emergence of distinct and severe ailments among the elderly people.
For example
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, as per the statistics from the census of India, there has been a significant boost in its
population
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
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 to previous decades. Apart from
this
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, the proportion of the older - aged populace, who is prone to severe mental diseases like Alzheimer has increased significantly, which has become the major issue among the elderly people.
Therefore
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, the proposed notion has numerous drawbacks apart from the
health
Use synonyms
 problems among older people and increment in the
population
Use synonyms
. All in all, it is apparent from the above paragraphs, which strongly support the sole reason behind the increment in the average life expectancy of the populace along with the side-effects of
this
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 employment, which may prove as a bane, in the near future for all the nations across the world.
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • seasoned workforce
  • health advancements
  • chronic conditions
  • social welfare systems
  • pension plans
  • policy adjustments
  • aging population
  • cultural experiences
  • loneliness
  • mental health
  • geriatric care
  • consumption of resources
  • environmental stresses
  • climate change
  • resource depletion
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