Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community. Are disadvantages of this requirement greater than the benefits for the community and individuals?

#people #work #community #requirement #individuals

It is true that volunteer

work

provides great benefits for both participants and the community.

However

, forcing the youth to engage in those activities may be counterproductive, as now will be explained. On the one hand, if young people were required to do social jobs for free, there would be certain advantages for all sides related. A vast majority of the younger population

are

Suggestion

energetic, dynamic and passionate about improving themselves, and it is the unpaid

work

that

Suggestion

That

can satisfy that demand. Charitable campaigns

such

as teaching primary

schoolchildren

Suggestion

school children

or helping the elderly with their daily activities provide the participants with not only new knowledge and skills, but

also

a sense of community and a belief that they are a pivotal part of

societies

Suggestion

society

. Vice versa, the government, with the assistance

from

Suggestion

for

young people, has a productive workforce available for charity

work

without wasting money on the recruitment process.

On the other hand

, I believe that the disadvantages of

this

are more important. Working on a volunteer basis may distract young people from their priorities.

For example

, students of state universities and colleges are expected to attend lessons, complete homework and even

consult

Suggestion

consults

external academic materials. With

such

a heavy workload, those students should spend their little remaining time relaxing or playing sports rather than joining free social activities. Regarding those who do not go to school, vocational or internship courses are what they should seek for. Professional skills from

such

classes are tools for these individuals to achieve a stable later life;

therefore

, the community should allow them to pursue their career. In conclusion, the youth can choose to support others, and the volunteer

work

should never be made obligatory.

Submitted by Moksha Mehta on Sat Jun 06 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community. Are disadvantages of this requirement greater than the benefits for the community and individuals?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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