6. (31/01/2015) Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds

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It is argued that protecting wild

animals

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and

birds

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is drawing/attracting too much concern and too many resources of society. Personally, I totally agree with

this

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point of view. There are two main reasons why I think people have paid too much attention to the

protection

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animals

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. One reason is that many non-governmental organizations have been established in order to protect

animals

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all over the world.

However

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, they are too concerned about animal-related activities in many parts of the world.

For example

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, it is unreasonable that PETA, an animal-protecting organization, accused Katy Perry of using tigers and elephants in her own music video ‘Roar’ for commercial purposes

while

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she did not.

Furthermore

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, news about wild

animals

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can be shared rapidly on the Internet. If a bear is imprisoned somewhere,

this

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news will be widespread on social networks

such

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as Facebook on a large scale immediately.

In addition

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, people have

also

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spent too many resources protecting wild

birds

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Firstly

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, a great deal of money is required to carry out any project to protect wild

birds

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, in which infrastructure and research are the two most expensive. The more difficult research to preserve the DNA of wild

birds

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is, the more it costs.

Secondly

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, the expenditure for

this

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protection

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is quite unnecessary to some extent.

While

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funds should be raised to improve the living standards in some regions, investment in bird

protection

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appears to be a waste of money. In conclusion, it seems to me that both concern and resources are focused too much on the

protection

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of wild

animals

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and

birds

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this

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modern world.

Submitted by oanh cao ngọc on Sun Jun 07 2020

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Task Achievement

To improve your score in Task Achievement, ensure that you develop your main ideas more comprehensively. While your essay responds to the prompt, there could be more depth to your arguments. You need to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and pertinent examples that solidify your stance.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, create a clearer logical flow in the development of your points and ensure smooth transitions between your paragraphs. Consider using a range of cohesive devices effectively as well as varied sentence structures.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecological balance
species extinction
wildlife conservation
sustainable development
ecosystem services
habitat destruction
endangered species
conservation efforts
natural heritage
human encroachment
poaching
genetic diversity
climate change
environmental stewardship
protection measures
wildlife sanctuary
biological significance
conservation biology
environmental advocacy

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6. (31/01/2015) Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measure can be done to address those problems?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.