6. (31/01/2015) Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

It is argued that protecting wild
animals
and
birds
is drawing/attracting too much concern and too many resources of society. Personally, I totally agree with
this
point of view. There are two main reasons why I think people have paid too much attention to the
protection
of
animals
. One reason is that many non-governmental organizations have been established in order to protect
animals
all over the world.
However
, they are too concerned about animal-related activities in many parts of the world.
For example
, it is unreasonable that PETA, an animal-protecting organization, accused Katy Perry of using tigers and elephants in her own music video ‘Roar’ for commercial purposes
while
she did not.
Furthermore
, news about wild
animals
can be shared rapidly on the Internet. If a bear is imprisoned somewhere,
this
news will be widespread on social networks
such
as Facebook on a large scale immediately.
In addition
, people have
also
spent too many resources protecting wild
birds
.
Firstly
, a great deal of money is required to carry out any project to protect wild
birds
, in which infrastructure and research are the two most expensive. The more difficult research to preserve the DNA of wild
birds
is, the more it costs.
Secondly
, the expenditure for
this
protection
is quite unnecessary to some extent.
While
funds should be raised to improve the living standards in some regions, investment in bird
protection
appears to be a waste of money. In conclusion, it seems to me that both concern and resources are focused too much on the
protection
of wild
animals
and
birds
in
this
modern world.
Submitted by oanh cao ngọc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, ensure that you develop your main ideas more comprehensively. While your essay responds to the prompt, there could be more depth to your arguments. You need to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and pertinent examples that solidify your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, create a clearer logical flow in the development of your points and ensure smooth transitions between your paragraphs. Consider using a range of cohesive devices effectively as well as varied sentence structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: