The new media have too much influence on people’s lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

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day and

ages

Suggestion

age

, it goes without saying that the development of media is one of the most important issues facing us. Many people think that there are numerous negative effects on our lives. In my opinion, the news media

has

Suggestion

have

both advantage and disadvantage impacts on resident’s lives. To start with, there are two primary reasons which the news media

provides

Suggestion

provide

benefits for the daily lives of citizens and our social lifestyles.

First

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of all, TV news channels or websites could carry the latest breaking news stories which is beneficial for them to keep updated with up to the minute news coverage.

This

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means that citizens might not only know everything which is occurred in other countries in the world, but

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also are

Suggestion

also is

able to broaden their horizon through television programs and the internet. Another point worth noting is that it is beneficial for family members to release their stress after excessive workload or narrow the generation gap together. Indeed, by watching television news channels after dinner time in the living room, it could do bring a certain amount of happiness and togetherness to

family

Suggestion

the family

On the other hand

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, while the news media has many positive impacts on our lives, there are several negative impacts.

Firstly

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, not only on the internet

websites but

Accept comma addition

websites, but

television news programs

also

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gets various yellow

journalism which

Accept comma addition

journalism, which

makes audiences could not distinguish between faking news and the others and it could effect on the development of characters of children.

For example

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, cause there are several internet websites which contain numerous faking news or violet news, it has led to children more tendency to develop violent

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

Moreover

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, more and more people could be bombarded with excessive advertising in the news

media which

Accept comma addition

media, which

would disturb them when they have been taking part in the intriguing programs. In conclusion, taking everything into consideration, I believe that the news media

has

Suggestion

have

both advantages and disadvantages

in equality

lack of equality

inequality

in our daily lives.

Tran Vy Khanh VoSun Jun 07 2020

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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