Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #schools #money #computers #teachers #wages

The scientific world is constantly changing and evolving, with solutions to the problems emerging from researches. One of those researches, claim that our inherited traits take the upper hand in shaping our personality, when compared with

life

experiences.

However it

Accept comma addition

However, it

is a debatable matter and in

this

essay I will highlight the views. No one can deny, that our genes are responsible for the expression of one’s genotype and phenotype. The information on our DNA is passed on through the genetics

;

Accept space

;

whether it may be physical or a behavioural trait. A child born to short-tempered, dwarf parents, will exhibit both of the characteristics.

Conversely

Accept space

many people believe that

life

experiences obtained through travelling

Accept space

work and families shape us into who we are as adults. Through travelling, as we explore, we learn to respect different customs, traditions and cultures which we might have been previously critical of.

Moreover

behaviour is learnt through environmental conditioning.

For instance

, if an innately aggressive person observes that kindness leads to more positive outcomes; he would use those experiences to channelize his own actions.

Furthermore

, innate quality can be greatly altered by the circumstances, and progress is greatly determined by individual’s own drive and hard work.

For example

, my father was born to an illiterate couple of low socioeconomic status; with none of his siblings acquiring any educational degree

Accept space

Yet my father, through his own determination, managed to get

Suggestion

scholarship and attained his master’s degree in mechanical engineering, in one of the top universities in Iran.

Thus

, the negative and positive experiences in

life

impact on our personality and general outlook in

life

. In conclusion, I strongly believe, that despite genetics determining our identity and uniqueness, it is the actual

life

experiences that

builds

Suggestion

build

our personality. I am

confidant

Suggestion

confident

, that society as a whole, influence’s a person’s self-concept.

Submitted by mustafa on Sun Jun 07 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

306 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects.Other people thimk that,in today worldsubjects and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, there are many individuals who wants to self-employed. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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