IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Recently published figures shows that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty percent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife around the world

#figures #wildlife #population #world #fifty #percent #years
Recent survey
Suggestion
A recent survey
Recent surveys
 of wild animals has revealed that there is an upsurge which accounted for about 50% in the extinction of animals in the
last
 50 years. In my opinion, I think the adoption of modernized medical care facilities as well as the rehabilitation of endangered species will ultimately aid preserving wildlife across the globe.
To begin
 with, the utilization of modern
health
 equipments will enhance the well-being of wild animals.
This
 means the use of modern
health
 facilities for medical checkups and the administration of appropriate vaccines to feeble animals can improve their
health
 status and prolong their life span.
In addition
, zoologist should ensure wildlife are given a certain proportion of balance diet as well as nutritional supplements
such
 as calcium, phosphorus or vitamins because deficiency in these consumption can expose wild animals to untimely deaths. Another point to consider is that forest animals can be protected by implementing
law
Suggestion
a law
the law
laws
 that confines deforestation.
This
 is because cutting or burning of forest trees has exposed animals to carbon
monoxide which
Accept comma addition
monoxide, which
 causes suffocation that eventually leads to death.
For instance
, a recent study on wildlife extinction in Africa reveals that burning of trees has been the major reason.
Furthermore
, the government bodies should ensure that endangered species are provided with adequate rehabilitation like zoological gardens, as comfortable housing will improve the overall wellness of animals which enhance reproduction which ultimately result in increased population of wild animals. In conclusion, wild animals can be protected through the provision of adequate
health
 care facilities as well as enforcing
law
Suggestion
a law
 that
restrict
Suggestion
restricts
 deforestation.
Submitted by Dolapo Felix on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!