Some people think that internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #internet #communities

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It is often thought by some that cyberspace has bridged the distance between

individuals

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while

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others think that

people

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and communities are becoming more distant from each other. In my opinion, I believe that the advent of the

internet

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has paved

way

Correct article usage

the way

show examples

for better

communication

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and national development. On the

one

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hand, some

people

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believe that cyberspace has bridged the

communication

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gap between

individuals

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and I agree.

One

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reason for

this

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is that with the help of the

internet

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, it is now possible to keep

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apply

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open

communication

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with friends and families who live in distant places. In the past,

one

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needed to write a letter and post it through the post office

inorder

Correct your spelling

in order

show examples

to check up on aged parents and friends.

Linking Words

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

letters took days and sometimes weeks to get to their receivers and their corresponding responses

also

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took about the same duration to get to the sender.

However

Linking Words

, with the introduction of the

internet

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, it is now possible to reach out to friends and families in a matter of minutes using social media networks.

Additionally

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, initiating and executing foreign trades without necessarily travelling abroad is now possible.

This

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leads to increased economic growth and national development.

On the other hand

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, other

people

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say that the

internet

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has encouraged social distancing

amongst

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among

show examples

individuals

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and their communities.

This

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is because

people

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no longer spend quality time with

one

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another as they would rather stay glued to the screens of their electronic devices for hours surfing the web. Previously, families created memorable moments by playing board games

such

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scrabble

Capitalize word

Scrabble

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, WHOT, or

monopoly

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Monopoly

show examples

or just by watching movies or even telling stories to each other. Unfortunately, that narrative has changed with the advent of the

internet

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People

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would now rather play

scrabble

Capitalize word

Scrabble

show examples

on their phones

against

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than

show examples

the computer. All these

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

encouraged an increasing gap in the level of interaction

amongst

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among

show examples

individuals

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. In conclusion,

while

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people

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may vary in their opinion, I believe cyberspace is an important tool for fostering better

communication

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amongst

individuals

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as well as

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promoting national development.

Submitted by Chisom on Mon Jun 08 2020

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task response

Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides clear and relevant ideas. Make sure to address all parts of the essay question equally.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure and the ideas are well supported with relevant examples. However, make sure to have a stronger connection between your introduction and conclusion. Also, ensure smoother transition between ideas within paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Some people think that internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The picture shows the process of making wool. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Plastic products are bad for environment? Tell me the cause and solution?

Some young people are sent to prison for minor crimes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such imprisonment?

People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.