IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #books #internet
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In the past, various
knowledge
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 was stored in
books
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. Nowadays,
instead
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 of
books
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, we can find more quick and easy
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
information
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 on the
Internet
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 because of technology developers. In my
opinions
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opinion
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, there are many benefits and
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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,
therefore
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, we should use it properly.
Internet
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data
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 have much fake
information
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, unlike the only right
knowledge
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books
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.
Therefore
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, we can use the wrong
data
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 for
assignment
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assignments
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,
reports
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and reports
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.
Moreover
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, we are
the
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at the
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 cost of buying digital devices to approach the
Internet
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. Most digital devices are an expensive option for some
whereas
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books
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 are a cheaper option to get the same
information
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.
Also
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, some people
said
Wrong verb form
say
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 that
books
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 are still
safe
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safer
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more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than online because the
Internet
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 has many viruses. I think that the
data
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 stored on the
internet
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 can offer extensive benefits for everyone.
Firstly
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, we quickly find
the
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apply
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knowledge
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 on the
Internet
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 more than in
books
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,
in other words
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, we do not spend a long time to discover the
information
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.
Moreover
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, the source of
knowledge
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 on the
Internet
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 is easily accessible from any location and time. Anyone with access to the
Internet
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 can quickly access
knowledge
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 without geographical constraints. And we get highly
secures
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secure
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 and keep
out
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our
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data
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 safe online.
Furthermore
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, online
data
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 can be shared faster through the link. It is safe and convenient. In conclusion, searching
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knowledge
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for knowledge
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 on the
Internet
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is
Verb problem
has
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 many pros and cons
such
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 as quickly
find
Wrong verb form
finding
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, easy
approach
Replace the word
approaching
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,
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 fake
knowledge
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 and
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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digital
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
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, for
the
Correct determiner usage
this
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 reason, we should
use
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
filter out fake
data
Use synonyms
.
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure that your introduction provides a preview of your main points and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument.
logical structure
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Transition words can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
supported main points
Make sure all your main points are well-supported with relevant examples. This strengthens your argument and provides clarity.
clear comprehensive ideas
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in your essay. It might be helpful to review your work or ask someone to proofread it for you to enhance clarity and precision.
complete response
Ensure that you address both the advantages and disadvantages equally to provide a balanced view. Also, make sure your points are clear and elaborated well.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of storing knowledge on the internet.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You mentioned multiple points on why the internet is beneficial for storing data, such as speed and accessibility.
What to do next:
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