In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, various
knowledge
was stored in
books
. Nowadays,
instead
of
books
, we can find more quick and easy
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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information
on the
Internet
because of technology developers. In my
opinions
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opinion
show examples
, there are many benefits and
disadvantage
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disadvantages
show examples
,
therefore
, we should use it properly.
Internet
data
have much fake
information
, unlike the only right
knowledge
books
.
Therefore
, we can use the wrong
data
for
assignment
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assignments
show examples
,
reports
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and reports
show examples
.
Moreover
, we are
the
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at the
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cost of buying digital devices to approach the
Internet
. Most digital devices are an expensive option for some
whereas
books
are a cheaper option to get the same
information
.
Also
, some people
said
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say
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that
books
are still
safe
Correct word choice
safer
show examples
more
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apply
show examples
than online because the
Internet
has many viruses. I think that the
data
stored on the
internet
can offer extensive benefits for everyone.
Firstly
, we quickly find
the
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apply
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knowledge
on the
Internet
more than in
books
,
in other words
, we do not spend a long time to discover the
information
.
Moreover
, the source of
knowledge
on the
Internet
is easily accessible from any location and time. Anyone with access to the
Internet
can quickly access
knowledge
without geographical constraints. And we get highly
secures
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secure
show examples
and keep
out
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our
show examples
data
safe online.
Furthermore
, online
data
can be shared faster through the link. It is safe and convenient. In conclusion, searching
knowledge
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for knowledge
show examples
on the
Internet
is
Verb problem
has
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many pros and cons
such
as quickly
find
Wrong verb form
finding
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, easy
approach
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approaching
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,
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
fake
knowledge
and
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
the
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apply
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digital
device
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devices
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, for
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
reason, we should
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
filter out fake
data
.
Submitted by 피엔 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure that your introduction provides a preview of your main points and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument.
logical structure
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Transition words can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
supported main points
Make sure all your main points are well-supported with relevant examples. This strengthens your argument and provides clarity.
clear comprehensive ideas
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in your essay. It might be helpful to review your work or ask someone to proofread it for you to enhance clarity and precision.
complete response
Ensure that you address both the advantages and disadvantages equally to provide a balanced view. Also, make sure your points are clear and elaborated well.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of storing knowledge on the internet.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You mentioned multiple points on why the internet is beneficial for storing data, such as speed and accessibility.

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