shopping has become a favourite pasttime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shoppings.

It is believed that shopping has become notorious all among the people when they have spare point.

This

essay will discuss on various others ways of activities which can be procrastinate at the leisure moment rather than encouraging shopping only. To commence with, people might think shopping is the best way to spend their free moment.

This

is because they think it assists them to feel relaxed and joy.

For instance

, a recent study concluded that 80% people will now be involved in shopping activities to kill their hour and get some pleasure.

Moreover

, it aids to be socialised and share some time with their family and friends, which really crucial of their life to be glued.

However

, in my opinion rather than only focusing on shopping, people can indulge in some other types of novice things like gardening, drawing, playing music or dance, get together campaigns and so on. These sorts of think one hand prevents waste of money as people might use too much, spend money on unnecessary commodities or gadgets in the name of shopping.

For example

, nowadays a researcher stated that 90 % people do shopping with are unnecessary for them because they are spending more hours in buying new apparel, garments, commodities and so on.

In addition

, when individuals involved in doing some creative work like drawing, playing musics with different equipment, dancing, doing exercise will refresh their mind and makes them healthy and happy. To exemplify, a recent research concluded that doing exercise or any other recreational activities succour people to be more joy than doing shopping activities. That's why I think people should confer prominence on those activities which makes them creative and active as well as happy rather than only involving in shopping. To sum up,

although

people might think shopping is best tasks to do in leisure time and should be encouraged, in my opinion, the best way to spend their spare

second

is by participating in recreational activities as well as creative work and exercise.

Submitted by Sabu on Tue Jun 09 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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shopping has become a favourite pasttime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shoppings.

Your opinion

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned, and electric cars should replace them.

Some people think that nowadays children have too much freedom. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, Children are encouraged to compete against each other. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?

Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.