IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that usage of technology (Mobile technology) is not helping for people to socialize Do you Agree or disagree?

#people #usage #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
technology
Use synonyms
 is very important for our life. We can do whatever we want with only a click.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, we can call our parents and friends, we can send messages and
use
Use synonyms
 different types of apps and Networks
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook, Instangram, Snapchat and Twitter. Compare to the past, now we are very lucky, but I think
this
Linking Words
 involves not socializing. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will give my point of view about
this
Linking Words
 theme.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, we can call our new world as a technological
one
Use synonyms
. People
use
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 every day and every single hour.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, people
use
Use synonyms
 it for work, for school, for travel, for sport. I think people are affected by
this
Linking Words
 huge problem. I believe, it is an issue because
this
Linking Words
 involves to not socialize compare to the past. We communicate only by mobile phone or computer. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
technology
Use synonyms
 is good to get in touch with people far from you.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, when I was in California a could
use
Use synonyms
 Skype to video call or send messages to my parents.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think
technology
Use synonyms
 cause a social distancing.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, is very bad to see a group of friends eating in a restaurant all together, but every single person looks on their phone and they don't talk to each other. To conclude, in the twenty
one
Use synonyms
 century
technology
Use synonyms
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the biggest problems in the world. I know that people can't live without it, but I think we can improve the way we
use
Use synonyms
 it. We need to communicate face to face and not from ours screen.
Submitted by ALEXIA MARTIS on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: