Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #malls #fear #effects #society

When young students become an adult, I think they can handle their shopping ranges and details themselves. They can compare a lot of shopping malls and would find the best product. By doing

this

, they can find not only information can save their money, but

also

how to handle their economic choices. In society, the economy will be activated more if people spend their money properly. At

this

point of view, I think spending own's time at shopping mall would not be a problem for those who can handle and think in a reasonable way.

However

, for young people make a decision when they have to buy something, I think they could be confused because of a lot of content on shopping malls, which can make them spend too much time in the end. I can easily see some young students who just buy things that are the same as their friends' because they want to be in a fashion. What's more, they even spend their a lot of precious time by searching what's in fashion.

This

is why they need more mature people

such

as their parents or teachers. If they teach their kids how to spend their money wisely when they shop, I think even young people can approach their shopping life well little by little. In conclusion, in my opinion, since even immature people can deal with their spending life well if they are educated in a proper way, I think shopping themselves is not bad itself.

Submitted by ggg on Wed Jun 10 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems

More and more people are opting for ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Do this development has more advantages over disadvantages

Some people say it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?