Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Education is the
corner stone
the fundamental assumptions from which something is begun or developed or calculated or explained
cornerstone
of
individual’s future
Suggestion
an individual’s future
the individual’s future
. Many people often argued that children should start their formal tutoring as soon as possible while some oppose that it should start after the preschool time.
This
essay will depict both perspectives and I believe that children must start the studies after they are 7 years old. To commence with, it is believed that
the early children
Suggestion
the earlier children
earlier children
start to learn, the better their intelligence will be as a child’s mind grasps fast in developing stage.
Furthermore
, they will learn to be competitive and motivated to attain their desired target,
this
nature will be helpful in
this
world of tough competition.
For example
, recently in
news
Suggestion
the news
it
is showed
Suggestion
is shown
has shown
that
Karate tournament
Suggestion
the Karate tournament
was held for kindergarten students in
Korea which
Accept comma addition
Korea, which
exhibits their power and memory that little one’s can
also
learn the technique in early stage. On
contrary
Suggestion
the contrary
, various people
believes
Suggestion
believe
that a child should learn creative things till
age
Suggestion
the age
of seven as it will help their mind to work fast, in an innovative manner.
Moreover
, initial over-burden of studies lead to stress and
as a
result children
Accept comma addition
result, children
lose interest in studying and sometimes it is extremely difficult for them to even pass the high school. To exemplify, in recent survey western countries which start formal teaching
later have
Suggestion
later has
more successful rate
Suggestion
a more successful rate
the more successful rate
of passing students in examinations, in fact that they have
desire
Suggestion
a desire
the desire
to attain
bachelor’s degree
Suggestion
a bachelor’s degree
as
compare
Suggestion
compared
comparatively
comparable
to the countries which start the education
initially
. In my opinion, youngsters should start school lately because they can learn more through play-based activities in order to develop their minds more effectively. To conclude, education at an early stage can increase stress
level which
Accept comma addition
level, which
might often lead to play less in order to complete homework. So, young students should be encouraged to play more to enhance brain activity resulting in good future.
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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