Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #children #years #age

Education is the

corner stone

the fundamental assumptions from which something is begun or developed or calculated or explained

cornerstone

individual’s future

Suggestion

an individual’s future

the individual’s future

. Many people often argued that children should start their formal tutoring as soon as possible while some oppose that it should start after the preschool time.

This

essay will depict both perspectives and I believe that children must start the studies after they are 7 years old. To commence with, it is believed that

the early children

Suggestion

the earlier children

earlier children

start to learn, the better their intelligence will be as a child’s mind grasps fast in developing stage.

Furthermore

, they will learn to be competitive and motivated to attain their desired target,

this

nature will be helpful in

this

world of tough competition.

For example

, recently in

news

Suggestion

the news

is showed

Suggestion

is shown

has shown

that

Karate tournament

Suggestion

the Karate tournament

was held for kindergarten students in

Korea which

Accept comma addition

Korea, which

exhibits their power and memory that little one’s can

also

learn the technique in early stage. On

contrary

Suggestion

the contrary

, various people

believes

Suggestion

believe

that a child should learn creative things till

age

Suggestion

the age

of seven as it will help their mind to work fast, in an innovative manner.

Moreover

, initial over-burden of studies lead to stress and

as a

result children

Accept comma addition

result, children

lose interest in studying and sometimes it is extremely difficult for them to even pass the high school. To exemplify, in recent survey western countries which start formal teaching

later have

Suggestion

later has

more successful rate

Suggestion

a more successful rate

the more successful rate

of passing students in examinations, in fact that they have

desire

Suggestion

a desire

the desire

to attain

bachelor’s degree

Suggestion

a bachelor’s degree

compare

Suggestion

compared

comparatively

comparable

to the countries which start the education

initially

. In my opinion, youngsters should start school lately because they can learn more through play-based activities in order to develop their minds more effectively. To conclude, education at an early stage can increase stress

level which

Accept comma addition

level, which

might often lead to play less in order to complete homework. So, young students should be encouraged to play more to enhance brain activity resulting in good future.

Submitted by ielts prep on Thu Jun 11 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

308 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Excessive use of private cars is considered the main reason for the traffic jam in many cities, which is why the use of public transportation is encouraged. In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of using public transport?

It is believed that, the major proportion of goverment budget sould be divided to health education and safety facilities.

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week.Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?