IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Advertisements encourage people to buy in quantity rather than promote quality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, we are immersed to advertisements for there are amusing and attractive advertisements everywhere. Some people condemn advertisements as the root of over-consumption, I personally agreed with
this
Linking Words
 idea. On the one hand, almost all the company's aim to produce an advertisement is promoting the sales volume, in commercial advertisements, a product is described in a way to make the audience feel that they must have it. One common feature of all advertisements is that they try to influence consumers'
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 according to their emotions. Take
children
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children, for
for example
Linking Words
,
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,
advertiser
Suggestion
advertisers
an advertiser
 often aim their marketing at children
,
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,
for they can easily be influenced by advertisements, and put pressure on parents to buy them things without taking care on the item's
quality
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, advertisement, according to consumer
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 analysts, lure people to buy things by creating desires
,
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,
 sometimes they even exaggerate the product effect, or conduct false advertising.
For instance
Linking Words
, some advertisements for perfume are so well made that after watching them many
woman
Suggestion
women
 feel that the perfume advertised is simply irresistible, though the advertisement does not mention the
quality
Use synonyms
 of the perfume at all, just by depicting a glamorous scene to them.
Finally
Linking Words
, as a key part of modern business, government should use regulation to control false and misleading advertising, conduct companies pay more attention on promoting
quality
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 of their products rather than setting their sight on promoting sales. In conclusion, advertisements are born to stimulate sales of products, but the
quality
Use synonyms
 of services and products remain the key issue of product competitiveness.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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