Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security

Some believe that an individual should always enjoy the

work

that they do,

while

others think the most important thing is

job

security. I personally think that people should always feel safe and satisfied with the

work

they do. But, financial stability is

also

very important for individuals to survive. A healthy working environment is one of the key aspects an employee looks for.

Furthermore

, the collaboration and connection that they have with their peers ensure

job

satisfaction as they have to deal with the same set of people every day.

Also

, it is very important workers maintain their mental stability to continue the level of

work

efficiency

that is

expected from the employer.

For example

, most companies are now promoting mental health awareness programs to educate their workers about the importance of being happy at

work

. The financial stability that a

job

offers is the key reason for most people to seek a

job

in the first place.

Moreover

, a permanent

job

comes with a monthly remuneration pot that will be remitted to the bank and perks like life insurance coverage.

Additionally

, some companies provide yearly bonuses so that employees would be encouraged and appraised for what they have done in the past year. A yearly scoring system is a great example of, how companies keep their workers feel enthusiastic so that they feel they are achieving career goals. I believe that it is important that someone likes the

job

they do rather than working for a company that they do not feel like going to. But

also

, we should keep in mind having a permanent

job

also

very important rather than falling into unemployment.

Submitted by alanarufanifernando on Wed Dec 28 2022

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a good introduction and a conclusion, but the logical structure can be clearer. You mentioned both views and provided your opinion, which is good. However, the transition between the points could be smoother. Consider using more linking words to guide the reader.

task achievement

You have addressed the task well by discussing both views and giving your opinion. However, try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Some points feel underdeveloped and could benefit from further elaboration.

coherence cohesion

You've done a good job of introducing the topic and presenting both views clearly. Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion.

task achievement

Your essay contains relevant points and examples, particularly about the importance of job satisfaction and financial stability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in some cultures children are often told that they can achive everything if they try hard. what are the advantages and disadvantages?

In recent years the family structures have changed as well as the family roles. What are the changes that are occouring. What do you think can be done to mend it?

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

After graduating from high school, some young people decide to start working right away instead of going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

Many people think that students should be allowed to choose the subject that they study in school, whereas others feel that they should choose the curriculum. Discuss both views and give your opinion.