IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. it is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Health issues are rampant in
this
Linking Words
 21st century's fast life. Many people have reported unhealthy in some countries because of
intaking
Suggestion
 too much fast
food
Use synonyms
,
as a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, bureaucrats have introduced many new taxes regarding the
food
Use synonyms
 items. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will describe many of the cons of eating street
food
Use synonyms
 and what should the government do to eliminate
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, In
this
Linking Words
 fast pace life where everyone is working to get a good and elite lifestyle.
Although
Linking Words
, in the pursuit of
this
Linking Words
 lavishing need people tends to forget about their health.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these easy to get
food
Use synonyms
 items often rich in high cholesterol and high fat, whereas, many doctors and health articles shows the study that
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 intake can lead to very deadly diseases
,
Accept space
,
 like high blood pressure, obesity, heart problems and many more.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the Government has taken the onus and started many new tax schemes which will somewhat alleviate the cost of
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
however
Suggestion
However
, by
this
Linking Words
 government have only made it harder for the people who have less income and have to work hard to cope up with the money they need for their basic needs.
For instance
Linking Words
, single mothers who are working two jobs to raise their kids are totally dependent on cheap and ready to eat meals in between their jobs. In conclusion, Outside
food
Use synonyms
 is unhealthy and authorities should encourage people to avoid it. There should be an awareness commercial which describes the bad effects of
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kamal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: