IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think is better children grow up in cities. Other people believe it's better children grow up in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #children #cities #countryside
A group of individuals believes is advantageous that young ones grow up in the urban areas, while
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 section of people opine that they are better
of
from a particular thing or place or position
off
 in the rural areas. In my view, I think they have should experience both lives. Living in the cities exposes youngsters to a wider range of technology.
In other words
, they are 21st century enlightened. Due to the era we are in, where there are advancements technologically,
such
 children are able to strive better in the larger society.
For instance
, children in Abuja are exposed to electrical gadgets, since almost all the schools insist on every child possessing a tablet.
Moreover
, the majority of their exercises are done online, enabling them to make use of the internet
,
Accept space
,
computer, printer, scanner and other devices.
Hence
, these little ones perform excellently with electronic devices when raised in the metropolis.
On the other hand
, the minors who live in the rural areas are less endangered.
That is
 to say, since there are little or no pollutants in
this
 side of the country
,
Accept space
,
these ones grow to be healthier than their counterparts in the cities.
For example
, children in the villages do not come down with dreadful diseases like cancer which is predominantly the case in the cities
,
Accept space
,
as a result
 of the combustion from vehicles and manufacturing industries there.
Therefore
, children who are raised in these areas enjoy health benefits. In my opinion, the benefits of both areas should be experienced by the little ones.
Hence
, after they might have stayed in the village for a while, they should move to the cities for better experience in technological devices which is what is acceptable nowadays. In conclusion, while some individuals opine that children be raised in the cities and the other group think they be brought up in the villages, I believe that both experiences are pertinent in raising wholesome children.
Submitted by Mabel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: