Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?
It is true that some people believe that achieving a fixed
career
in the whole of life sufficient
for them and they Add a missing verb
is sufficient
be
satisfied with it. So, Change the verb form
are
this
job
brings many advantages and fringe benefits
for them. However
, I believe that work
satisfaction
is a complex concept in terms of any person
Change noun form
person's
differ
.
On the one hand, owning fixed employment brings a lot of merits for employees because of Replace the word
differences
this
issue many employment seekers desire that acquire an unchanged job
without attention to job
satisfaction
. The primary merit is that any person
who needs a job
in which they do not want to spend a lot of time
seeking a job
in many periods of time
and instead
they
focus on their Correct pronoun usage
apply
job
. Secondly
, employees have various benefits
of their career
including old-age pension, health insurance, and generous benefits
and they do not worry about the future. Because many people like these jobs. Finally
, many occupations have a special structure for any employee that
wants to enhance his/her Correct pronoun usage
who
benefits
. For instance
, in public service, one employee can improve to a deputy or chairman in
Change preposition
for
Correct article usage
a periods
periods
of Fix the agreement mistake
period
time
.
On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that people who are seeking a position beside
a desire to have a Change preposition
besides
job
attending
to factors that supply for Wrong verb form
attend
job
satisfaction
. Job
satisfying
has several factors that differ Replace the word
satisfaction
in
Change preposition
from
any
Correct determiner usage
one
person
to another person
. Nowadays, a lot of work
seekers aspire to experience the feel
of Replace the word
feeling
work
satisfaction
so that maybe they want to find this
profession. Firstly
, have
Wrong verb form
having
benefits
such
as enough salary and insurance cannot the
Add a missing verb
be the
reasons
for selecting a Fix the agreement mistake
reason
career
. Beyond doubt, these features are initial aspects of any occupation. Indeed, attention to factors including a positive working atmosphere, enthusiastic colleagues, and an inspirational boss play an important role for any person
who seeks a career
. Besides
the time
we spend choosing a good career
most
Rephrase
is more
worthier
than Replace the word
worthwhile
we spend
that Wrong verb form
spending
time
for
a Change preposition
on
job
that unsatisfied ours
.
In conclusion, following a fixed Correct pronoun usage
us
career
for the entire life might contribute to contentment at work
. However
, I believe this
is not the only route for everyone to achieve goals in their working life.Submitted by mohammad chelsea on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a moderate level of coherence and cohesion. You need to work on organizing your ideas in a more logical manner and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Your response to the task is acceptable, but could be more comprehensive and specific. Try to provide more specific examples and expand on your ideas to fully answer the question.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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