IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people say that children should stay in school until the age of 18. Others suggest that educating chidren until the age of 14 is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #school #age #chidren
In many parts of the
world there
Accept comma addition
world, there
ae
a unit of surface area equal to 100 square meters
are
 many different parents with a
dissimillar
not similar
dissimilar
worldviews
Suggestion
world views
 about how to teach their child or teen over 14 years old. Some of them believe that it is
more effectly
Suggestion
more efficient
more efficiently
teahing
the profession of a teacher
teaching
thing
 their children till 18 but more others think it is worth to teach them up to 14. The following essay takes a look at both sides of
argument
Suggestion
the argument
an argument
 which type of education gives a high result. I strongly agree with the idea that children should study at school till the
age
 of 14. So, let’s ask for the
hitory
the aggregate of past events
history
 of education of the world.
Acccording
Suggestion
According
 to the history, there were many genius students under 18 in lots of historical universities or institutes and
also
 they cultivated to highly achieve with their students even under the
age
 of 18
speically
 in Harward. One possible solution is demanding. There won’t be a
result when
Accept comma addition
result, when
 losing the demand for the studying. In my opinion parents should make sure that it is enough for their child study at school till the
age
 of 14. Categorically speaking, if anyone starts learning early, could get higher achievement than
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 student who is the same
age
 as him or her. I personally believe that the student under the
age
 of 14 will have more chances to improve his or her educational knowledge. But
on the other hand
, the student’s parents who didn’t let him or her to study till 18, may be
chose
Suggestion
chosen
 wrong way.
However
, there are many students who graduated their university didn’t have their job by their speciality yet. Overall, I whole
heartedy
with gusto and without reservation
heartily
 believe that the trending to long time studying should be changed.
Then
 I think parents can expect their children high victory and
suceess
an event that accomplishes its intended purpose
success
.
Submitted by Узбек Миллий on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: