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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #activities #time #pressure
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Our world is tightly connected with the field of shopping and advertising. Every day people see ads in videos, on the streets and shopping centres. Most often famous people do
this
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, they advertise everything from clothing to fast
food
Use synonyms
.
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However some
Accept comma addition
However, some
 people believe that famous figures should be banned from promoting soda and junk
food
Use synonyms
.I agree with
this
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 idea.
First
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 of all, children and teenagers have a tendency to buy every product which their favourite celebrities advertise.
This
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 idea is beneficial for the fast
food
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 companies who use celebrities to promote their products.
Hence
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, it is much more profitable than making regular advertising, people will see their favourite celebrity and go try the same product that theirs idols use.
Furthermore
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, children and teenagers who started buying fast
food
Use synonyms
 have problems with overweight and
health
Suggestion
healthy
. The same situation with soda, people believe in advertisements where their favourite star says it is very tasty. So in conclusion, there are two sides. On the one hand it is a great and successful advertising method that affects people.
On the other hand
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 it reduces people's health and deceives them.I deem that
peoples
Suggestion
people's
 health is much more important
,
Accept space
,
so
this
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 is the right idea that famous figures should be banned from promoting soda and junk
food
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by VLADA GUSAKOVA on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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