IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Discipline is an ever-increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#discipline #schools #people #responsibility #teachers #role #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, self-restraint receives top concern of both schools and parents. While some people claim that it is the duty of teachers, others believe that parents are accountable for enforcing
discipline
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will look at both sides and argue that parents occupy a vital role in shaping the children's behaviour and character. On the one hand, it is undeniable that schools play an integral part in educating children. There is no doubt that children gain considerable knowledge from teachers, mainly, scientific and social knowledge. It is highly unlikely that each teacher teaches the same standards of
discipline
Use synonyms
 for all pupils across all grades.
For example
Linking Words
, there are nearly 40 students in a class. It is difficult for the teacher to control the class and focus on individual students. The teachers tend to concern more about explaining the lesson and completing the course.
Therefore
Linking Words
, teachers are able to teach school subjects, but they do not have enough time to inculcate the value of
discipline
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I tend to agree with the view in favour of parents play a significant part in regulating righteous attitudes.
This
Linking Words
 is because there are a long-lasting relationship and a strong bond between parents and children. Parents can easily observe the growth of the youngsters and direct them to the right path whenever they pursue some bad habits.
For example
Linking Words
, from my own experience, my mother always teaches me about self-
discipline
Use synonyms
 and guide me to behave delightfully. That being said, parents have an immense responsibility in educating their children about
discipline
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, while schools are responsible for self-restraint, I hold the belief that parents should make an enormous effort to guide their children to behave appropriately and have self-
discipline
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dinh lê on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: