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Writing Samples
Band 5

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be eploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy thier various needs, including uses for food and research.

#people #animals #rights #humans #thier #food #research
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The more
people
Suggestion
peoples'
 belief that animals should not be used by people for their needs.
Linking Words
Also they
Accept comma addition
Also, they
 want that animals
also
Linking Words
 have
privilege
Suggestion
privileges
 like as humans. But in
this
Linking Words
 moment other think that animals were developed for people exploited and wants kill them for people needs to take some
feels
the petals or sepals of a flower that bend downward (especially the outer perianth of an iris)
falls
. Both
view
Suggestion
views
 to be correct in my opinion, but
also
Linking Words
 in each has negative and positive sides.
Firstly
Linking Words
, animals less and less in everyday people should
safe
save from ruin, destruction, or harm
save
 them in my opinion. By the time I think that for
life
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
world people
Accept comma addition
world, people
 should eat
meat
Use synonyms
 I mean animals. On the one hand, nowadays we can see that in our
world
Use synonyms
 animals lose
them
of them or themselves
their
 position. Because people without any think destroy some clans of animals which in red book.
As a result
Linking Words
, animals in every day to become less and less. I think people should not do that for their interests, because in
last
Linking Words
 total anyone will be
kill
Suggestion
killed
. With
this
Linking Words
 it would destroy our environment, our ecology and our development. Animals like us feel everything and for them
life
Use synonyms
 is important as for us. We should understand that if animals were not being,
us
plural of "I"
we
 would not be too in my view. On the opposite side, people every day challenge with
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
world
Suggestion
world's
life
Use synonyms
.
For
Suggestion
To
 take their energy and position they are should eat
health
Suggestion
healthy
healthier
healthily
 and mineral foods. As we all know that
meat
Use synonyms
 have a lot of healthy materials which need for people, we cannot remove
meat
Use synonyms
 in our
life
Use synonyms
. People should eat in the most part in their
life
Use synonyms
meat
Use synonyms
 in my opinion. But
it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 not mentions that we should kill all animal
Use synonyms
world
Suggestion
worlds
. I think that people should with mind choice animals which in really needs for us. Only with
this
Linking Words
 in our
world
Use synonyms
 take
safe balance
Suggestion
a safe balance
 between people and animals. To conclude, nowadays we should be careful in killing animals. Because animals less and less with each day and people should take harmony
world
Use synonyms
. I think that people should understand all important parts environmental. We should with
carefully
Suggestion
careful
 choice the animals which in real needs for us.
Submitted by maftuna on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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