IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that people who do physical work should be paid on par with the people who have high level degree. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by some
people
Use synonyms
 that the skilled and unskilled employees should be paid the same salary regardless of their education level. In my view, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion with a number of valid reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it takes a lot of hard work, time, money
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 sacrifices
earn
Verb problem
to earn
show examples
 the professional degree of about four to five years, which
people
Use synonyms
 do with the dream of grabbing a
high paying
Use the right word
high-paying
show examples
 job opportunity and for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better future prospects. Most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 have to complete another
post graduation
Use the right word
post-graduation
show examples
 course
of
Change preposition
after
show examples
 two to three years of their career growth later in life.
For example
Linking Words
, the income of lawyers who fight for justice cannot be matched with
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 clerk, and the salary of doctors who
saves
Correct subject-verb agreement
save
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 lives can not
the
Verb problem
be the
show examples
 same as
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 assistant.
Hence
Linking Words
, making the same
pay checks
Use the right word
paychecks
show examples
 for both blue and white collar professionals will collapse the educational system
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will lose hope in getting literate and making investments in earning
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 degree.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the literacy rate is measured by the level of education of the citizens, and higher literacy levels predict
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher standards of the country. In fact, skilled workers are mostly doing the administrative jobs and
taking
Use the right word
making
show examples
life challenging
Use the right word
life-changing
show examples
 decisions in the workplace and
thus
Linking Words
 helping the nation to run in a smooth manner.
For instance
Linking Words
, engineers are required to manage the
technology driven
Use the right word
technology-driven
show examples
 society and health care workers are required
for keeping
Change preposition
to keep
show examples
 the country healthy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can be said that education is a foundation stone for the country’s development. To recapitulate, I opine that the
pay checks
Use the right word
paychecks
show examples
 should be based upon the degree level and the amount of experience
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 cannot be the same for the qualified and manual workers.

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task
Show a clear view from start and stick to it. Add stronger reasons and better proof for your view.
coherence
Plan the essay with three parts: intro, 2 or 3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use simple links like and, but, so to connect ideas.
language
Use simple grammar and short sentences. Check use of small words like a, an, the. Fix errors in grammar and word form.
examples
Add more small, real examples that support your point. Make sure each example is easy to see and related to your point.
stance
You show a clear view that you do not agree with equal pay.
structure
There is a plan with an intro and a final line.
content
There are some good ideas to support your view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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