IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunize their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunize their children?

#childhood #diseases #vaccines #parents #law #immunize #children #individuals #right
In
this
 modern world, development in medical science has proven that through vaccines, parents can save their children from common diseases like measles, chickenpox, polio. In
this
 essay we will discuss about that there should be a law to immune the children or it
should be depend
Suggestion
should depend
 on personal choice. Most important reason related to
this
 context is false
rumors
gossip (usually a mixture of truth and untruth) passed around by word of mouth
rumours
 or misunderstanding about the vaccines that it is made of some substance which is not good for children's health.
For example
, there is a polio campaign in all over the Pakistan but some people spread a fake news about polio vaccine that it consists a substance
that is
 vicious for children.
Hence
, parents do not allow their children to have vaccines for common diseases.
Furthermore
, parents do not want their children to go through the painful process of vaccines.
Government
Suggestion
The government
make
Suggestion
makes
 immunization mandatory
to
Suggestion
for
 everyone. In foreign countries, it believes that immunization is the right of every child. Sometimes, due to parents negligence
,
Accept space
,
 children do not get these vaccines and regret later.
Therefore
, if it will be a personal choice of parents to immunize their children, parents will never do it and children will suffer later. Hundreds of children get affected by these common diseases and die because of not getting
vaccination
Suggestion
vaccinated
 on time. I strongly agree that getting vaccines is the prime right of every child and government should raise the awareness of the issue. Parents
also
 get all the information about the vaccines from their personal doctor in order to avoid any kind of misunderstanding.
Submitted by Aysha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: