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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people
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Nowadays there is a controversial opinion about campaigns aimed at kids. Only some people suppose that marketing may develop critical thinking while the prevailing sentiment claim that
such
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 advertising should be banned. Personally,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 I agree with the fact that television commercials are having
harmful effect
Suggestion
a harmful effect
harmful effects
 on children;
however
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, some of them can be crucial and educate young generation.
Thus
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, advertising
targeting
Suggestion
Targeting
 children should not be banned, but legally restricted.
Firstly
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, it is not ethical for the brand to aim directly at kids as it can be problematic for their parents. It will be hard enough to explain to the child that eating fast food
that is
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 shown on the TV can provoke lots of diseases.
Moreover
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,
such
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 corporations as McDonald's target child’s emotions as they promise to bring kids into the
fairytale
Suggestion
fairy tale
 world after buying their snacks.
That is
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 why
such
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 advertising campaigns are inappropriate and may
also
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 cause false expectations and impulse buying. To decrease the negative implication of commercials there should be strict governmental regulations that will control aggressive marketing.
On the other hand
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, not can only marketing harm, but
also
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 educate. Public service advertising can teach children to take care of nature and animals. The visual content is more understandable for youngsters so they can have a deep view over the issue.
Besides
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, lots of people think
ad
Suggestion
the ad
 can inculcate scepticism and teach children critical thinking skills.
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Hence parents
Accept comma addition
Hence, parents
 should explain children what advertising is. If children are brought up with a sense of what advertising is, they will understand its purpose and it will have less effect on them. To sum up, advertising might be beneficial for children
that is
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 why it makes no sense to ban it. Kids vulnerability must be protected by
law but
Accept comma addition
law, but
 useful commercials should definitely affect them.
Submitted by Elena L on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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