Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people

Nowadays there is a controversial opinion about campaigns aimed at kids. Only some people suppose that marketing may develop critical thinking while the prevailing sentiment claim that

such

advertising should be banned. Personally,

refers to the speaker or writer

I agree with the fact that television commercials are having

harmful effect

Suggestion

a harmful effect

harmful effects

on children;

however

, some of them can be crucial and educate young generation.

Thus

, advertising

targeting

Suggestion

Targeting

children should not be banned, but legally restricted.

Firstly

, it is not ethical for the brand to aim directly at kids as it can be problematic for their parents. It will be hard enough to explain to the child that eating fast food

that is

shown on the TV can provoke lots of diseases.

Moreover

such

corporations as McDonald's target child’s emotions as they promise to bring kids into the

fairytale

Suggestion

fairy tale

world after buying their snacks.

That is

why

such

advertising campaigns are inappropriate and may

also

cause false expectations and impulse buying. To decrease the negative implication of commercials there should be strict governmental regulations that will control aggressive marketing.

On the other hand

, not can only marketing harm, but

also

educate. Public service advertising can teach children to take care of nature and animals. The visual content is more understandable for youngsters so they can have a deep view over the issue.

Besides

, lots of people think

Suggestion

the ad

can inculcate scepticism and teach children critical thinking skills.

Hence parents

Accept comma addition

Hence, parents

should explain children what advertising is. If children are brought up with a sense of what advertising is, they will understand its purpose and it will have less effect on them. To sum up, advertising might be beneficial for children

that is

why it makes no sense to ban it. Kids vulnerability must be protected by

law but

Accept comma addition

law, but

useful commercials should definitely affect them.

Submitted by Elena L on Mon Jun 15 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestions on the road. hat are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays some people post offensive or uncomfortable things on social media. Do you think social companies should do somethings to prevent this? what do you think people should not be allowed to post on social media?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development