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Band 6.5

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Some people believe that this is an illness and should be treated medically. Others feel that this is only a result of unhealthy habits and it is sport that must help. Discuss both point of view and give your own opinion.

#childhood #obesity #countries #people #illness #habits #sport #point
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In today’s world childhood obesity is one of the most pressing problems. There are many reasons for
this
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 issue and many effects have been associated with it.
However
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, I believe that several steps could be followed to improve
this
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 situation. There are two main factors that
are contributed
Suggestion
have contributed
are contributing
contribute
 to children obesity. One is bad eating habits: eating junk foods like MacDonald’s and drinking sugary soft drinks. Another possible factor could be that  children nowadays tend to have a sedentary lifestyle, they play computer games, chat on the internet rather than doing  sport or playing outside. As a consequence, of these factors, children these days are becoming obese. They are overweight, unhealthy and unfit to play or to do any physical exercise. Another devastating effect is that, the higher risk of heart diseases, diabetes and cancer. These diseases put a strain on hospitals and they are going to be a heavy burden in the future.
On the other hand
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, I think there are several measurements can be done by parents, governments and schools.
Firstly
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, giving children healthy food, control what they eat and ensure that they have a healthy diet.
For example
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, the diet that includes more vegetables and less fat contents.
Secondly
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, governments can limit junk food advertisements or prohibit those which are directed to children.
Finally
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, restrict the time they spend on computer and video games, and encourage them to do regular exercise. In conclusion, it is true that obesity among children with its negative impacts, is growing at an alarming
rate but
Accept comma addition
rate, but
 it seems to me that there are many solutions to tackle
this
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 problem.
Submitted by Nataliia Litovchenko on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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