IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
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The maps illustrate some proposed changes to the layout of a
university’s
Suggestion
university
 sport centre. It is clear that the sports centre will be expanded in size. The leisure pool will be built
next
Linking Words
 to the changing room. And
two
Use synonyms
 extra changing rooms will be constructed on both sides of the
bottom
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 corners.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the sports shop and the café will be added
next
Linking Words
 to the changing rooms on the west
side
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 and east
side
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 respectively. It is the interesting point that
two
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 dance studios will be opened up on the east
side
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 of the centre.
Also
Linking Words
, the sports hall will be erected beside the seating.
Finally
Linking Words
, the gym will be enlarged in size. While, the 25m pool and seating and change room
next
Linking Words
 to the 25m pool will remain unchanged. The maps illustrate some changes that have taken place in a public
park
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 since 1920. Overall, the fountain has been changed to the
rose
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garden
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 and many seats have been constructed around the
rose
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garden
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. And the stage for musicians has been replaced with the amphitheatre for concerts to accept more people. Looking at the changes more detail, the
rose
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garden
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next
Linking Words
 to the entrance
in
Suggestion
on
 Arnold Avenue has been diverted into the café and the pond for water plants in the top right-hand corner of a public
park
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 has been made
into
Suggestion
in
 the children’s play area.
Finally
Linking Words
, the glasshouse in the
bottom
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 has been changed to the water feature and the entrance underground
car
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park
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 has been built in the
bottom
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 right-hand corner.
Also
Linking Words
, the
rose
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garden
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in
Suggestion
at
 the left
bottom
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 was demolished. While
two
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 entrances remain unchanged. The
two
Use synonyms
 maps illustrate some changes that were made in a City Hospital between the years 2007 and 2010. From the overall perspective, it is noticeable that there are three main changes to access
of
Suggestion
to
 hospital. These involved a new bus station, new roundabouts and new parking. Looking at the changes in more detail, in 2007 there was a bus stop on the east
side
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 of out of City Hospital.
However
Linking Words
, we see a new bus station located on the west
side
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 of Hospital Road.
Linking Words
Furthermore in
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, in
 2010 three roundabouts were constructed on both
Use synonyms
side
Suggestion
sides
 of Hospital Road and near the public
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
. Indeed, a
car
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park
Use synonyms
 for staff and public in 2007 was changed into a
car
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park
Use synonyms
 for only staff.
However
Linking Words
, by 2010 the public
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 had built on the east
side
Use synonyms
 of Ring Road to provide parking space for members of the public.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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