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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that parents should teach their children to become a member of society,while others think that schools should do that.

#people #parents #children #member #society #schools
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The way how youngsters are construed in educational processes , implies a strong reverberation ,leaving an eminent impact on their
future
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 lives . A majority of individuals hold a cognizance , that it is eligible for parents to make exertions by educating their
children
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 how to become members of modern society ,
while
Linking Words
 others think in a reverse manner,and believe that only
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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 process in schools can ameliorate
child
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's social factors to become an individual.
While
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 schools are absolutely essential for
diverse
Correct article usage
a diverse
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 upbringing ,I agree with those who assume, that family members are mostly in charge of educating their
children
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.
Firstly
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,it is inherently vital to allude
the
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to the
show examples
 indisputable fact , that schools educate
children
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 during eleven years of full
preparartion
Correct your spelling
preparation
 for adulthood .
This
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 is because , educational methods given by teachers must develop
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child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 social factors, fetching specialized knowledge of prosperous fields .To exemplify ,
existed
Wrong verb form
existing
show examples
 team works , which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 contrived for the general development and communication with
children
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 at the same age will improve
overall
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 skills , but lack of prosperous attention and support will be turned as a drawback
as a result
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 . Another equally vital consideration emphasized by most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
,
Remove the comma
apply
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is that family members are those people, who subsidize
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child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 social factors , indicating the subliminal path for their
future
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. Family is the main source of gaining cognizance and support from loved ones. Only parents , who
upbring
Correct your spelling
bring
children
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 ,leaving an
immence
Correct your spelling
immense
 footsteps in
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child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 life's development are able to teach them not only from hands-on experience
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
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 from absolutely relevant relations which play the main role .
Although
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 ,teachers have a narrow knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 subjects ,only attitude and relations will be reflected in youngster's
future
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.
To conclude
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 from the aforementioned heated views which are commonly held in modern society , I want to reaffirm my opinion once again that only parents are those people who have the right attitude and support for their
children
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 as
future
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 individuals,despite the fact,that teachers play important on educational process in specialized fields which will be helpful in structuring knowledge .
Submitted by Alina Dushachenko on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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