IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that access to
healthcare
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 is a fundamental need for individuals in any society.
While
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 in many countries people are required to pay for medical
services
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, some argue that
healthcare
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 should be provided free of charge by the government.
Although
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 some may disagree with
this
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 view, I partly support it
due to
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 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that free
healthcare
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 can ensure equal access to essential medical
services
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. To illustrate, individuals from low-income backgrounds may be unable to afford treatment, which can lead to worsening health conditions.
For instance
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, government-funded
healthcare
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 systems can provide necessary
services
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such
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 as emergency treatment, vaccinations, and basic medical care, ensuring that all citizens receive adequate support regardless of their financial situation.
This
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 can improve
overall
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 public health and reduce long-term
healthcare
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 costs. Another point that should not be overlooked is that providing completely free
healthcare
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 for all
services
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 may place a heavy burden on government budgets. To clarify, maintaining hospitals, medical staff, and advanced treatments requires significant financial resources.
For example
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, if all
healthcare
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services
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 are free, demand may increase excessively, leading to longer waiting times and reduced quality of care.
Therefore
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, a mixed system in which basic
services
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 are free
while
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 additional treatments require payment may be more sustainable. To recapitulate, it is evident that free
healthcare
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 can improve accessibility and public well-being,
while
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 the main drawback is the financial pressure it places on governments.
Therefore
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, I believe that basic medical
services
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 should be provided free of charge, but a balanced system is necessary to ensure both quality and sustainability.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. You say you partly support the idea, but you can say more clearly how far you agree.
task response
Add one more real or clear example. Your examples are good, but they are a bit general.
task response
Develop each main point a little more. This will help your ideas feel more full and strong.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Your essay is easy to follow, but too many set phrases can sound less natural.
coherence and cohesion
Make the second body paragraph link back to your main opinion more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make some topic sentences shorter and more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to follow.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view.
task response
Your ideas are clear and stay on the topic all the way through.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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