some people think to produce a happier society, we must ensure there is only a small difference in earnings between the rich and the poor. To what extent do you agree?"

#people #society #difference #earnings

The difference in earnings between rich people and poor people is a problem in population these days. Some people believe that minimizing the range of a person’s salary will create a happier community.

This

essay will argue why ensuring that making people’s wage rates close together is an unfair idea and why it will not produce a happy community. Some people think that minimize the gap between the rich and the poor is a great idea to make public happier.

However

, one of the reasons why

this

is not possible is because poor people tend to struggle with life due to their bad financial management. Take a look at people who spending money on luxury goods and trying to live an extravagant lifestyle, but not consider their revenue whether it enough or not.

Consequently

, these people might end up have problems with their life.

Therefore

, they tend to think that making a happier world is all about reducing the difference in earning. Despite the wide gap between pay levels, people are classified into two groups; rich and poor.

This

will motivate people to work hard, study, and try to reach a higher position in their careers.

Accordingly

, people will become better, smarter, and educated. All of which makes their life as well as an association happier.

For example

, modern technology that we are using these days,

such

as computers or smart phones. All of these come from people who put effort, work hard, and make the world a better place.

Although

we are living in an unfair world that has inequality in earning, there are reasons why it produces a happier nation.

This

essay argued why we do not need to minimize salary range;

instead

, we should focus on taking action on good things that help to reach higher wage to produce a happier public. In my opinion, reducing the gap between the rich and the poor is not the way to make our nation happier.

Submitted by Pete 250 on Tue Jun 16 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think to produce a happier society, we must ensure there is only a small difference in earnings between the rich and the poor. To what extent do you agree?"

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

several languages are in danger of extinct because they are spoken by very small number of people. some people say tgat governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe taht would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, it is becoming more popular to see animals to be kept in captivity, for instance, the zoo Do the advantage of keeping animal in the zoo outweight the disadvantage?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to university while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?