A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.

People valuing process by social hierarchy and individual affluent in recent times become more suitable, by which old attribution, including individual prestige and benevolent
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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become more irrelevant. I do agree that social flag and
wealthiness
Replace the word
wealth
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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more imperative than individuals-old-fashioned judgement,
such
as
honor
Change the spelling
honour
show examples
and generosity, but the old one can not be abolished. Regarding a new stream of person worth assessment, it has much influence by capitalism thriving in which it can transform public scrutiny to be more economical-oriented.
Moreover
,
this
orientation is
drove
Wrong verb form
driven
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by an
economical
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economic
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view, including how much people's saving and or how high their social communities
.
Add a missing verb
are.
show examples
To illustrate, now, to recruit new acquaintances, several points have to be provided and satisfied,
such
as bank balances and the communities in which they are engaged.
This
act is done
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
motives
Fix the agreement mistake
motive
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to gain economic benefit as much
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
possible as. As
Correct article usage
a consequences
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consequences
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
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, the shift of the orientation will disrupt the old one. In the past,
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
person
Change noun form
person's
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prestige
is
Wrong verb form
was
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valued by some individual's ability
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which it is generated
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
honor
Change the spelling
honour
show examples
or generosity.
For example
, people from
prosper
Replace the word
prosperous
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
well-educated, and
collaborating
Wrong verb form
collaborate
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with their good circumstances resulting in a good manner. But, in
this
era,
this
acumen has
neglected
Add a missing verb
been neglected
show examples
. Albeit become irrelevant in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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of
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
show examples
value judging process,
this
past stream
is still become
Change to the active voice
still becomes
has still become
show examples
preeminent
Correct article usage
a preeminent
show examples
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
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to ensure social well-being. Person judging processes
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
witnessed a new transformation process to become more materialistic and disrupt the old way. Yet, the latter is still needed to control the society as well. I hope that the changes will lead to a new social civilization.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph contribute to that idea for better logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Make your introduction and conclusion more distinct and clear to frame your essay effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, which will enhance the relevance and clearness of your ideas.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar for clearer expression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing from one point to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social status
  • material possessions
  • old-fashioned values
  • honour
  • kindness
  • trust
  • empathy
  • media influence
  • self-worth
  • metrics of success
  • financial achievements
  • community contributions
  • superficial connections
  • emotional bonds
  • life satisfaction
  • stress and anxiety
  • policy changes
  • community programs
  • restoring balance
  • personal character
What to do next:
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