Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level.

Some people believe that
music
,
art
, and
drama
are essential as much as other
school
courses for the junior high
school
in particular
.
This
essay agrees that
music
,
art
and
drama
are crucial for students in primary
school
.
Firstly
,
this
essay will discuss how
drama
helps students become more assertive and
secondly
, discuss how studying
music
enhance memory as well as how
art
increase in critical thinking skills. Learning
drama especially
Accept comma addition
drama, especially
in primary level has proven to make students become more confident when they grow up.
Drama
class will allow students to act with other friends by performing in their own roles. The study conducted in England showed that most students who join in
acting club
Suggestion
the acting club
an acting club
had
more confident
Suggestion
more confidence
than
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
who were not. For these reasons,
drama
is quite important for students in elementary
school
. Playing
music
and painting
also
benefit children in improving memory and increase in critical thinking skills.
Firstly
,
music
helps people recall memories quicker and more accurate. Especially for children,
researches
a scientist who devotes himself to doing research
researchers
showed that people who play
music
since they were young are more likely to have greater ability to remember.
Secondly
,
art
such
as visual
art
has positive effects on people and children. Critical thinking ability is one of the benefits of
art
. A study revealed that children who visited an
art
museum experienced a 12-15% increase in critical thinking skills.
Although
academic
school
subjects,
such
as math, science, and English are essential for students to apply to university, but
music
and
art
should not be negligent. It is for these reasons,
school
Suggestion
the school
schools
should attach importance to
music
and
art
as same as other
school
courses. To sum up,
music
,
art
and
drama
have lots of benefits to children
in
particular and
Accept comma addition
particular, and
it should devote attention as much as other
school
subjects.
Submitted by Pete 250 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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