Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #music #cultures #age

Promoting harmony in distinct cultures and age groups for collecting individuals simultaneously,

music

considered a suitable option by various people. I totally agree with

this

point of view as public concerts reduce the generation gap and

music

competions

a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers

competitions

joint different cultures globally. Predominantly,

music

is that part of civilised society which is liked by everyone

Accept space

either an adolescent or a teenager or even

Suggestion

older person.

Likewise

, tremendous live concerts are held annually in societies for its members. In these programs, all multitudes have equal rights to take part, which demolished the difference between young and olds To cite a case, in Delhi

Accept space

India

Suggestion

every year a public concert of

music

are organised in which numerous singers participate from different age groups namely Harbhajan Maan, Ranjini Josh

etcetera

Therefore

, a majority of people are integrated in

such

programs and enjoy a new environment together.

On the other hand

, irrefutably,

quantifier; used with either mass or count nouns to indicate the whole number or amount of or every one of a class

all

nations have dissimilar cultures and traditions.An enormous

compitions

Suggestion

competition

competitions

takes place

worldwide which

Accept comma addition

worldwide, which

is beneficial for gathering people from one region to another. When persons gathered

Suggestion

one place

Accept space

they can easily talk with others, it

improve

Suggestion

improves

their

bounding

a close personal relationship that forms between people (as between husband and wife or parent and child)

bonding

and makes the relation strong.

Additionally

, these

compitations

the procedure of calculating; determining something by mathematical or logical methods

computations

competitions

compilations

Suggestion

are

aslo

in addition

also

quite

lucurative

producing a sizeable profit

lucrative

for knowing the traditions of another country

Hence

, the musical

competations

a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers

competitions

is helpful for bringing individuals

moee

objective form of "I"

closer.

Incompendium

, the bright sides of

music

is much

delightful

Suggestion

more delightful

for assembling mankinds from

multifarous

having many aspects

multifarious

cultures and life duration. It is significant to make strong relations and vanish the difference between various age-groups.

Submitted by Ramandeep Kaur on Tue Jun 16 2020

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 3 - Discussion
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us longer pay attention to it.to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.