Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view.

#people #animals #captivity #zoos #humans #debate

Many individuals convinced that animals must not be kept in captivity,

such

as zoos and circuses. While others claim the opposite opinion that there are pros for the fauna representatives as well as for people. There are strong arguments on both camps, which I will consider before the personal attitude is given. From one point of view, animals must live in freedom and must not be put in cages by humans, because they, especially wild ones, suffer from

unnatural conditions

Suggestion

the unnatural conditions

out of their natural habitats. It is worth mentioning that even 20 square meters cages in zoos are too small for bears,

wolfs

Suggestion

wolves

, and lions who were born to live in huge mountainous forests and immense savannas, and swimming pools for dolphins are too tight to pretend like it is an ocean. According to the researches,

this

tightness and pressure of the captivity

affects

Suggestion

affect

the longevity of life of

animals making

Accept comma addition

animals, making

it two times shorter than if they were free.

Besides

, our little friends often exhausted from the trainings in circuses, which usually contain violent actions, from camera lights and from frequent rides by car, these obstacles are all unnatural for them. From another perspective, many people believe that there are a lot of advantages for society and for the animals from the

animals

Suggestion

animal

entertainment industry. It is important to note that zoos play a tremendous role in educating young generations about flora and fauna. Many kids inspired to see real tigers and wild birds after learning about them from books.

This

impressions

Suggestion

impression

after meeting the animals in person can positively impact the future study and career of the children. Some of them would become aspiring biologists, veterinarians or nature photographers.

Moreover

, zoos and circuses are the whole industry nowadays, and many people employed there, which makes the keeping animals in these facilities beneficial for society. Overall, there are merits to both sides in regard to whether animals should be kept in captivity or live freely in their habitats. I personally think that animals have to live in a freedom, and zoos are no longer acceptable in modern world.

Submitted by Azhar Kazakbaeva on Wed Jun 17 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

349 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In certain nations, parents have high academic expectations for their children, resulting in limited leisure time. What could be the potential benefits and drawbacks of this for the children and the society they are part of

Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have a huge negative effect on both society and individuals. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

1.In the past, people ate local food in season. Nowadays, people buy a variety of foods from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?