Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Artistic creations are important aspects in making a place visually appealing to tourists and native residents.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that the Government is spending more than what is required in building statues and decorating roads. According to me, I feel that in a developing

country

Use synonyms

like India, there are many other important aspects, which need immediate attention and fund.

Firstly

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, in India,

majority

Suggestion

the majority

of the population belongs to a lower income family and

hence

Linking Words

, the percentage of

tax payers

someone who pays taxes

taxpayers

also

Linking Words

minimal.

Therefore

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, wasting their money on something less important will not only be harmful for the future of the

country

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

be a cause of

increase

Suggestion

the increase

in tax in future.

For example

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, a few months back, the highest statue in India was unveiled and it was revealed that it cost several

crores

Suggestion

. While it is true that

such

Linking Words

activities can create several jobs for a certain time period, it cannot be ignored that those jobs will be deferred, once the

art work

photographs or other visual representations in a printed publication

artwork

is complete.

Secondly

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, our

country

Use synonyms

lacks many basic facilities.

For instance

Linking Words

, we need more educational institutes, hospitals, low cost medical facilities etc.

Thus

Linking Words

, when even the fundamental needs of the people are not getting fulfilled, in my opinion, spending on

arts

Suggestion

the arts

luxury

Suggestion

a luxury

Finally

Linking Words

, I believe that even though decorating our

country

Use synonyms

holds some importance, we have much more important aspects to invest in.

Suggestion

we strengthen our infrastructure

first

Linking Words

, the aesthetics will automatically be taken care of, as proper education and job will nurture us to be more responsible citizens and a clean place can be equally beautiful to look at.

This

Linking Words

is why, I truly believe that spending money on arts now can prove to be expensive for us in near future.

Submitted by Amrita Dey on Wed Jun 17 2020

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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